Quote Browser
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#4327 + ()/47 - [ Report ]
// English, Dr. Castaldo is lecturing about morals. A student happens to be using his cellphone under the desk at the time.
Dr. Castaldo: So it's important you always make the right decision- including not playing with your stuff under the table!
Class: ...
Dr. Castaldo: *realizes what she said* Oh dear... -
#4317 + ()/57 - [ Report ]
Chhabra: How was your weekends, guys? I spent two hours pulling out weeds and that killed my back
*goes on about this for several minutes, when Ed Cai cuts in suddenly*
Ed Cai: I have green balls growing in my backyard.
Chhabra: You have green balls growing in your backyard?!? Are they fruit or something? Fruit is bad for my back too when they go in the soil and make little trees--
Ed Cai: No, they're weeds.
Chhabra: They're weeds?!?
*they argue about this, then Ed changes his mind*
Ed Cai: Actually, they kinda look like brains.
Chhabra: Balls, brains, all you need are brawns and you'll have human males growing in your backyard! -
#4308 + ()/41 - [ Report ]
Dr. Dell: You see, if you take the derivative of position, you get velocity, and if you take the derivative of that, you get acceleration. Does anyone know what the derivative of acceleration is?
Student in the back of the room: Uhhhh, is that Jerk?
Dr. Dell: Yes sir. You see, Jerk is this concept...
*Student in the front interrupts*: Dr. Dell, what is the derivative of Jerk then?
*Dr. Dell glares at student for a moment*
Dr. Dell: Let's see. A SON OF A JERK?!?! -
#4300 + ()/83 - [ Report ]
// In Chem, discussing Schrödinger's cat experiment.
Kauffman: *takes out finger puppet*
Kauffman: *high pitched voice* Hey kids, I'm Schrödinger's cat!
Kauffman: Now, is the cat alive or dead?
Kauffman: *high pitched voice* I'm alive, kids!
Kauffman: *chucks puppet at floor*
Kauffman: It's dead. -
#4298 + ()/53 - [ Report ]
Student: "Today, I saw this girl's super long hair and she braided them, right? And I was staring at them, and I realized they were very tightly woven. And then that led me to tension. And then that led me to vectors. Then I wanted to measure the vectors (the two strands of braids pointing northwest and northeast) and the force pulling down on it which I assumed was the other hair woven below and I was like STOP!"
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#4295 + ()/76 - [ Report ]
// A SysLab kid is visiting the robotics lab and gesturing with his calculator
// Goes to put calculator away
Student A: Wait, is that a calculator holster!?
Student B: Yeah, he actually has two. One's a backup. And he has a melee weapon.
Student B: Which is a sliderule.
// All laughing except Student A, who facepalms.
Student A: ...I don't go to this school.
