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• #4281 + (+56)/88 - [ Report ]

  // Working on a long History assignment
  Mark Elias: Oh my god.... OH MY GODDDDD!! IM DONE!!!! four FUCKING hours, down the drain :'(
  Gilbert Pitcher: WEEEEEEE ARE THE CHAAAAAMPIONS MAH FRIEEEEENDDDD
  Mark Elias: AND WE'LL DO OUR HOMEWORK, TILL THE END
  Gilbert Pitcher: WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS WEEEEEEE ARRRRRR THE CHAMMMPIONS NOOOOOO TIMMMMME FOOOR SOCCCCIALLL LIIIIVES CAUUSEE WE GOOOO TO TEEEEJAAAAY
  Mark Elias: - THE BESTEST SCHOOL... .IN THE WORRRRLLLLDDD!!!

  Tags: gilbert_pitcher history mark_elias tj

• #4279 + (+23)/27 - [ Report ]

  // During precalc
  Teacher: What would be your algebraic solution?
  Student: Run away screaming.
  Teacher: ...
  Teacher: That would be one option...

  Tags: precalculus

• #4277 + (+3)/9 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing the elastic clause
  Torrence: "You can drive a Mack truck through that!"  That's what Patrick Henry said.
  Torrence: Even though Mack trucks hadn't been invented yet...

  Tags: torrence

• #4274 + (+76)/90 - [ Report ]

  Ronnie (male): *talks in extremely soft voice and asks question no one can hear*
  Mr. Mcfaden: Ronnie. *abruptly makes a spitting motion* Testosterone. *spits again* Testosterone. Use it.

  Tags: mcfaden

• #4273 + (+32)/38 - [ Report ]

  // Homecoming week, a student wearing antlers sneezes very loudly
  Mr. Majeske: You're the noisiest reindeer I've ever had in my class.
  Mr. Majeske: Wait, that sounded stupid.
  Mr. Majeske: You're the ONLY reindeer I've ever had in my class.

  Tags: majeske

• #4271 + (+46)/46 - [ Report ]

  // Reading e.e. cummings' r-p-o-p-h-e-s-s-a-g-r in English
  Student: What's with all the random parentheses? Is this written in Lisp or something?

• #4270 + (+69)/71 - [ Report ]

  // At the '09 homecoming dance
  Girl: *snatches a sheaf of papers from another girl* You are NOT going to study during homecoming!

  Tags: tj

• #4264 + (+114)/122 - [ Report ]

  // A test question from Mr. Majeske's WHG2 class
  Yes?
  A. Yes
  B. Yesss
  C. Yessssss
  D. Elizabeth Taylor
  
  // Correct answer is, of course, D.

  Tags: majeske

• #4263 + (+133)/139 - [ Report ]

  // Dr. Osborne's Precalc class has just taken their first test of the year.
  Dr. Osborne: There were many algebraic mistakes that people had made on this test. Such as...
  *writes bunch of simple algebraic problems on the board and solves them in the wrong way*
  Dr. Osborne: NOOOOO!!!
  *furiously crosses them out*
  Dr. Osborne: This kind of stuff is OFFENSIVE to me!
  Dr. Osborne: I look at this and I go "OH MY GOOOOOOOD!!!"

  Tags: math osborne

• #4261 + (+63)/63 - [ Report ]

  // Homecoming theme day, a person dressed up as Yoda walks down the hall
  Student A: Yo kid, nice costume!
  // Yoda stops and turns around
  Yoda!Mr.Kauffman: That's TEACHER to you! // walks away

  Tags: kauffman

• #4260 + (+55)/61 - [ Report ]

  Chhabra: Aaahhhh... isn't that marker better? Can't you all see now?
  Gabe: OOOH I GET IT NOW!
  Chhabra: See, it was the marker, was it not?
  Gabe: It's like my lucky marker. Can I have it?
  Chhabra: Can I have it? Can I have it? Can I have it?
  Class: ?
  Chhabra: Don't you guys watch Mad TV?

  Tags: chhabra

• #4253 + (+87)/89 - [ Report ]

  Student: So is it more economically efficient to produce corn or wheat?
  Mr. Torrence: I wouldn't know, I never grew corn. My father grew corn. I grew watermelon.
  Mr. Torrence: And because I lived "in da 'hood", right before they ripened, somebody would always steal them.

  Tags: torrence

• #4248 + (−18)/110 - [ Report ]

  Sam Sohn: HOLY SHIT THERE'S A MOUSE IN MY HOUSE!!!!!!
  Zeming: nice
  Sam Sohn: IT'S NOT NICE
  Sam Sohn: AND I NEED TO GET A TRAP NOW
  Sam Sohn: OR A CAT
  Sam Sohn: BECAUSE IT'S GONNA CRAWL ON MY BED
  Sam Sohn: AND I DON'T WANT TO WIN THE BIOLOGY GAME
  Sam Sohn: WITH A FUCKING QUADRUPED
  Sam Sohn: Holy shit did I just say that???

  Tags: sam_sohn zeming_lin

• #4247 + (−12)/18 - [ Report ]

  me: I'm not sure if the sysops are allowed to change someone's gender
  and if they break the rules, they lose power
  Lily: ohhh, you meant internally on the computers, didn't you?
  me: yes
  get your mind out of the gutter
  Lily: that's not the gutter, that's science

• #4246 + (+43)/45 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Forbes:  We're all actually clones of each other.  I got the good-looking genes, Mr. Scholla got the tall genes, and Mr. Rose got the white-hair genes.

  Tags: forbes j_rose physics scholla

• #4245 + (+55)/61 - [ Report ]

  // In optics class
  Mr. Latham: ...so this is why we see light. Got it?
  Jimmy: Wow, you have to be on drugs to understand this.
  Mr. Latham: ...
  Lenny: Maybe that's why Dr. Dell is so good at physics...

  Tags: dell latham optics

• #4243 + (+12)/12 - [ Report ]

  // In Mrs. Waterfall's class discussing sharing vocab words
  // Waterfall checks in on group in hall and tells them about indefatigable
  // indefatigable is pronounced in-de-fa-tig-able, not in-de-fatigue-able
  Waterfall: You all know how to say this right? It indefatigable, one kid in there keeps saying "In-de-faggotable"
  Waterfall: Yeah, I dont know, he just can't seem to get the order right.

  Tags: waterfall

• #4242 + (+12)/28 - [ Report ]

  // During a fire drill in a light drizzle
  Frau Vaden *in German*: Why are we standing underneath this tree!? If there's lightning, then the tree will fall on top of us! Well then, how about we come in closer so we can all die under the tree.

  Tags: german vaden

• #4238 + (+15)/25 - [ Report ]

  // The class is about to take a test
  Donohue: Any questions?
  A: Yeah, my calculator isn't working. It won't graph anything!
  Donohue: Oh, don't worry. The mice in there are on something.

  Tags: donohue math

• #4237 + (+67)/73 - [ Report ]

  // During tornado drill
  // Students assume the position, Mrs. Waterfall is walking around
  Waterfall: Okay guys, stay down, act like I'm the tornado.
  *starts making circular motions*
  Waterfall: WHOOOOOOOOSH WHOOOOOOOOOSH WHOOOOOOOSHH SHHHHH wwooooooooo!!!

  Tags: waterfall

• #4236 + (+26)/28 - [ Report ]

  // AP Calculus AB
  Mrs. Donohue: Have you guys ever seen Mr. Rogers' show? Well, we're going to get on the trolley to make-believe land so that the origin of the graph is here.

  Tags: donohue

• #4235 + (+38)/40 - [ Report ]

  // AP Gov
  Kummer: So why should a 14-year-old girl who can get married in Alabama not be allowed to get married anywhere else?
  Danny: Because the culture in various parts of the US are really different...
  Kummer: Yeah, yeah, some of us aren't rednecks that get married to our cousins and others are...
  Danny: Well, coincidentally, I used to live in Alabama, and...
  Kummer: YOU MARRIED YOUR SISTER.

  Tags: kummer

• #4234 + (+45)/47 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing the Great Awakening in APUSH
  Sleete: There were some major groups during this time. Those who resisted change were the Old Lights and those that favored change were the New Lights...
  Sleete: ...and those that drank a lot were known as the "Bud" Lights
  // Class laughs
  Student: Really?
  Sleete: What? Of course not! That was a joke! Please don't write that on the AP Exam

  Tags: apush sleete

• #4229 + (+32)/34 - [ Report ]

  // In AP Gov
  Mr. Torrence: So this is a picture of the second bank of the United States. Or at least I think it is. I got it off of Wikipedia... Maybe it's not. Well, let's pretend that it is, and don't tell anybody, okay?

  Tags: torrence

• #4220 + (+17)/23 - [ Report ]

  // In physics
  A: *singing softly* So don't go breaking my heart... I won't go breaking your heart! Don't go breaking my-
  B: Why are you singing that?
  A: Oh, physics and I have a strange courtship. That's our song.
  A: It's a filthy liar.

  Tags: physics

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