Quote Browser
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#4218 + ()/43 - [ Report ]
// Physics, Mr. Rose is lecturing when Mr. Scholla comes in suddenly
Mr. Scholla: Mr. Rose, will you go to homecoming with me?
// Leaves as the class giggles
Mr. Rose: You know, some guys let themselves be wrapped around their girl's finger. Me, I don't let that happen *winks* -
#4204 + ()/152 - [ Report ]
Mr. Torrence: There was actually a person in Soviet Russia whose job it was to determine what size brassieres to make for the entire Soviet Union. So he would authorize the production of "x" many B-cups and "y" many D-cups.
Kevin: Wait, what in tarnation is a "brassiere," and why are we talking about tea cups? -
#4197 + ()/81 - [ Report ]
// During Mr. Kummer's attendance, he asked us to also state what state we'd like to visit during Spring Break
Palmer: I wanna go to Alaska and go moose hunting with Sarah Palin!
Kummer: Well...you gave me three things there...
Kummer: Alaska, which is great.
Kummer: Moose hunting, which I don't see myself doing...
Kummer: And Sarah Palin... which I don't see myself doing... -
#4196 + ()/91 - [ Report ]
// In Mrs. Waterfall's class, telling each other our new interests over the summer
// Mrs. Waterfall calls a student's name.
Student: ...Uh. I don't know.
Mrs. Waterfall: No new interest? Come on, you need to think of something.
Student: ...
// A long silence later
Mrs. Waterfall: The only conclusion I can come up with is that you're addicted to porn sites. Why else wouldn't you tell me? -
#4184 + ()/50 - [ Report ]
Three sophomore girls are talking about summer chem.
Sophomore #1: But at least you guys had, like a bunch of friends there.
Sophomores #2 and #3: So? It still sucked.
Sophomore #1: Hey, at least you guys bonded!
Sophomore #1: ...
Sophomore #1: I swear that was unintentional. -
#4183 + ()/42 - [ Report ]
// In English, discussing literature
Miller: Mr. Struck, isn't it true that Freud based some of his theories on Shakespeare's plays?
Struck: (incredulously) Are you asking me? I have no idea!
Miller: (to class) And there are things like the Oedipus complex-
Struck: Do you want me to look on Wikipedia for you? -
#4180 + ()/36 - [ Report ]
// Talking about SR&R
// Situation deals with a guy bringing a pocket knife to school with a blade of less than three inches
Mr. Pearce: If you're a man, and your thing was that small, you wouldn't want to show anyone.
Mr. Pearce: A three-incher can't penetrate that deep and cause damage.
