Quote Browser
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#3826 + ()/41 - [ Report ]
// APUSH with Mr. Sleete
// Mr. Sleete makes a horrible pun.
Tejas: Please don't ever tell that pun again, Mr. Sleete. Please.
Deniz: I can feel the grade falling.
Mr. Sleete: I can hear it. EEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeee... poof.
Deniz: You should give him a dash. (the lowest AP grade)
Mr. Sleete: No, he came in here this morning and told me that he doesn't like Teddy Roosevelt, my favorite president. I'll invent something lower than a dash. I'll call it the Tejas. -
#3816 + ()/53 - [ Report ]
// Substituting for Bello's HUM
Blackwell: I recommend you guys never to answer this question if anyone asks you this: What is your favorite fruit. Once you give the answer, the person will know everything about you: your hobbies, your favorite color, your sexual preferences...
Student: So what is your favorite fruit, Mr. Blackwell.
Blackwell: Oh, I rather not say.
Class: C'mon. Please?
Blackwell: Well, if you all insist. A pineapple.
Class: ??
Blackwell: Oh yes. You can do all sorts of things with a pineapple. You can eat it, you can throw it, you can rub it on your back, you can use it as a dangerous weapon... -
#3807 + ()/54 - [ Report ]
// At the beginning of class
Struck: Oh, you guys have a physics test Thursday? What's it on?
Student: Gravitation...
Struck: Oh, well, me and Newton go way back... You know that whole apple thing?
Struck: I actually threw the apple at his head. So all those laws of gravity you know are wrong... -
#3805 + ()/76 - [ Report ]
// Dr. Dell is exasperated because several members of the class are working on laptops and paying no attention.
Dr. Dell: You know what I want to do? On the very last day of school, I'm going to invite everyone to bring their laptops in. And then I'm going to drink four gallons of water and URINATE ALL OVER ALL OF THEM. -
#3800 + ()/45 - [ Report ]
// In HUM I, talking about trench warfare and World War I
Mr. Majeske: ... it was long and deadly.
Nader: That's what she said!
// Class bursts out laughing, Mr. Majeske stops and glares at Nader
Nader: Oh, you say it when there's an innuendo.
// Mr. Majeske walks over and pretends to bang his head against the wall
Mr. Majeske: World War I was long and deadly. -
#3798 + ()/51 - [ Report ]
// Discussing the role of the Vice President in AP Gov a week after Obama took office
Mr. Torrence: It really does depend on the administration. The latest incumbent, He Who Must Not Be Named, worked very closely with his vice president... Darth Vader. One could even say that the relationship was similar to the one that exists between Vader and the Emperor.
Arvind: But which one is the Emperor?
Mr. Torrence: Good question... -
#3779 + ()/67 - [ Report ]
// Mr. McFaden is doing a pre-lab rundown in freshman Bio
McFaden: ...And what will happen once the nitrogen comes in contact with the chemical?
Student #1: It'll mix!
Student #2: It'll bubble!
Student #3 (female): It'll explode!
McFaden...that's a Y chromosome answer, young lady!
