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#2519 + ( )/56 - [ Report ]
// In the AP Chem Princeton Review section on "Descriptive Chemistry"
CRACKING THE DESCRIPTIVE CHEMISTRY SECTION
The best way to crack this section is to take control of it. That is, you should choose the kind of equations that you are most comfortable writing and look for them among the choices. Approach the section the way a wolf approaches a herd of cattle. There's no point in attacking the biggest bull in the herd if you can grab five stragglers without a fight. The key, of course, is to spot the stragglers. -
#2398 + ( )/321 - [ Report ]
// Mrs. Chhabra is explaining the spectral lines lab. Sophomores are gathered around a Bunsen burner.
Mrs. Chhabra: You're going to see three different colored lines. One is red, one is purple, and one is teal. It's not green, it's not blue; I have students who say to me 'Mrs. Chhabra this is green' or 'this is blue' and I don't know how you can look at it and say that, it's teal! Like those ducks, you know? Those ducks! The ones with, you know, the heads that are teal? It's like those. I hate those ducks! They always cross the road in front of you and they look at you like 'ha ha, you have to wait for me' and you want to run them over but you can't! And...
*continues for some time* -
#1043 + ( )/93 - [ Report ]
// Discussing the procedure for an experiment.
Mrs. Chhabra: Now folks, you only put the acid in bit by bit, see I'm not using a lot of acid!! this is not a lot of acid!! You know you're done when you put in more acid and it just sits there and looks at you. When the acid starts looking at you, you know you're done. -
#971 + ( )/125 - [ Report ]
B: Can I borrow a pen to write my Chem homework on my hand?
Dr. Acio: Write it on your face. Then you'll see it when you look in a mirror.
B: I never look in mirrors.
Dr. Acio: Not when you go to the bathroom?
B: I close my eyes in the bathroom.
Dr. Acio: How do you know where you're pissing? -
#615 + ( )/162 - [ Report ]
Geoff:
Biology is the art of wet things (fetal pigs), knives (knives), and knifing wet things (knifing fetal pigs).
Chemistry is the art of things that you drink (ethyl alcohol), and things that you really shouldn't drink (fire).
Physics is the art of every fucking thing around you (the sun, the sky, love).
Geosystems is the art of checking your livejournal (F5! F5!). -
#493 + ( )/166 - [ Report ]
// Francisco hands in chem test long before anyone else is done
Mrs. Chhabra: Fransisco, you didn't do the back page.
Francisco: Yeah, I know.
Mrs. Chhabra: Well, why not?
Francisco: Because I wasn't paying attention when you showed us how to do it.
Mrs. Chhabra: Oh, well that's good. -
#303 + ( )/44 - [ Report ]
// In the lunch line at the National Science Bowl
Logan: My favorite chemicals are methyl hydrazine and 1,3,5-triazine.
Anon: Methyl hydrazine, CH3N2H3. What's 1,3,5-triazine?
Logan: Three hydrogen cyanides joined in a ring. Or, you could, of course, flip one of them to get 1,2,4-triazine.
Anon: I see. And you could flip another one to get.. oh, wait, that puts you back where you started. Well, my favorite chemical is 1,3,7-trimethylxanthine.
Logan: What's that?
Anon: Caffeine.
Logan: Oh! I see. That is a popular chemical.
...
Logan: Y'know, if caffeine were an illegal drug, TJ would be like Columbia.