Search Results
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#5959 + ( )/40 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Stueben is discussing the importance of tenure as a teacher
Mr. Stueben: The head of the math department came up to me and told me to stop giving so many quizzes because students were dropping out of my class.
Mr. Stueben: So, I stopped. Then, after two days, I started giving them again. I simply couldn't resist.
Mr. Stueben: The things you can do when you have tenure. -
#4522 + ( )/34 - [ Report ]
Stueben: The movie was about the English air force in World War I, and there was this pilot and his younger brother and the captain... [ten minute synopsis follows] So to pass tests, you have to get inside the teacher's head. Like the pilot, you have to become the person you hate the most. You have to become me.
Student: Wait. If the teacher is the captain in this metaphor, are the other students the Nazis? -
#3845 + ( )/50 - [ Report ]
// During Junior ethics seminar
Stueben: So some day in the future you are going to get married. And you are going to buy a house. Your wife is going to say "I want to paint the kitchen blue!" And you will say "Well I want to paint the kitchen brown!" And you two will argue over this for months until you finally cave in and paint the kitchen blue because you miss the sex, so this whole argument will have been totally pointless and you will be bitter about it every time you walk into your kitchen.
Student: Let me guess, your kitchen is painted blue?
Stueben: No, purple. -
#3843 + ( )/35 - [ Report ]
// During Accelerated Comp Sci
Stueben: So there once was a man who worked at a factory trimming the edges off of books. He would slide the book into a slot and a big blade would come down and cut it. Once a piece of paper got stuck in the slot, so he reached in to move it, and the blade came down and sliced off his hand. Shocked, he reached in to pull his hand out, and the blade sliced off his other hand. What do you call a man like this?
Student: What?
Stueben: A bloody idiot! -
#3842 + ( )/45 - [ Report ]
// During Accelerated Comp Sci
Stueben: So let me tell you all a story about a little mouse.
*45 minutes later after he explains in great detail how the mouse built a big house in the country, visited the city and almost got killed, and proceeded to tear down his house and move in to the city*
Stueben: Alright. That's it. Get to work.
Class: What was the point of that story?
Stueben: Oh, there was no point, I just tell these stories for my own benefit. -
#3841 + ( )/50 - [ Report ]
// During Junior ethics seminar
Stueben: So this one time my wife comes up to me and says "I have the greatest idea! Let's go on vacation to San Francisco this week! It will be so great, we can go sailing and touring and eat at all the fabulous restaurants!" And I said "Sure! Let's go!" Except it was a total lie. I really didn't want to go at all. All I wanted to do was sit in my basement and solve math problems. -
#3766 + ( )/88 - [ Report ]
// Doing a Christmas activity in Mr. Stueben's precalc that involves tearing a folded piece of paper.
Mr. Stueben: So you tear the paper like this. Girls, if you can't tear it, give it to a boy. Boys always have strong hands for some reason.
*Class laughs*
Mr. Stueben: I have no idea what you're laughing at. -
#2945 + ( )/77 - [ Report ]
// Student searches through many papers, looking for homework.
Student: Mr. Stueben, I found my homework!
Mr. Stueben: I'm sorry, but you're too late.
Mr. Stueben: You know, there's an important lesson here.
Student: Get organized?
Mr. Stueben: No, the lesson is the teacher is mean.
Mr. Stueben: Maybe get organized a little, but mostly the teacher is mean.