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#2693 + ( )/144 - [ Report ]
// During Dr. Uston's AP Bio class learning about Absolute Zero-
Uston: Okay class, in absolute zero, the molecules do not move from place to place, they only vibrate.
Class: If the molecule vibrates, it will generate heat, therefore it cannot be absolute zero.
Uston: I taught physics... -
#2692 + ( )/147 - [ Report ]
Dr. Uston: So, class, which way would the water diffuse? Julie?
Julie: It would diffuse from the A side to the B side because there's more solute over there.
Dr. Uston: No, no. I want you to tell me the answer, not ask me a question! So, how would it diffuse?
Julie: It would diffuse from the A side to the B side because there's more solute over there.
Dr. Uston: Very good! -
#2415 + ( )/319 - [ Report ]
// AP bio during Dr. Uston's first year
Dr. Uston: So class, this is a plant cell.
Student: Ummm Dr. Uston... it isn't square...
Dr. Uston: Oh, that's okay. Not all plant cells are rectangular. It's green! That means it has chloroplasts!
Class: Ummmm, actually we dont see any organelles...
*Dr. Uston keeps talking*
// 5 minutes later
Student: Oh look! There's the plant cell! See that label ABOVE the cell you're describing? This is a frog egg...
Dr. Uston: Okay, then so class, this is a plant cell.
Class: *stops listening for the rest of the year* -
#2239 + ( )/165 - [ Report ]
// Discussing an open-note test coming up in AP Biology with Dr. Uston
Student: Dr. Uston, are we allowed to print notes from the internet?
Dr. Uston: NO! And I'll know if you did or not.
Student: How?
Dr. Uston: I'll see the ASTERPOOT!
Students: ...?
Dr. Uston: You know when you print documents from the internet they have those lines at the bottom? The asterpoots? -
#2234 + ( )/80 - [ Report ]
// AP Biology
Dr. Uston: So, I heard of this story once, where a man and a woman were raising a chimp. After a number of years, the government forced them to put him in the zoo, because he wasn't allowed in their home. One day, when the chimp's birthday came around, the man brought the chimp a cake, and he was mauled by the other monkeys in the cage. Isn't that fascinating? -
#2208 + ( )/243 - [ Report ]
// AP Biology
Dr. Uston: So class, let's say that there is an amoeba, and it sees this tasty insect. How will it consume the insect?
Student: Uh, Dr. Uston... an insect is way bigger than an amoeba...
Dr. Uston: Okay, well... how about a gnat then?
Class: ...
Dr. Uston: *changes subject*