Top Quotes
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#1945 + ()/68 - [ Report ]
// Jason and Richard are discussing attractiveness based on skin color
Richard: Yeah. Supposedly, men are more attracted to light-colored girls, but I don't think this is always true. For example, I think Jessica Alba's attractive.
// After presentation
Mr Lampazzi: I have one question. Does Jessica Alba go to our school?
Everyone: No! She's a celebrity!
Mr Lampazzi: OH! I thought you were trying to indirectly ask her to Homecoming! -
#1682 + ()/70 - [ Report ]
// Economics class during a presentation on different types of businesses
Person doing presentation: Proprietorships are normally small mom-and-pop type businesses, or father and son stores
Crystal Zheng: Why are there no father and daughter stores?
John Sherwood: Because women don't work.
Mr. Zack: ... Yeah, pretty much. -
#4893 + ()/57 - [ Report ]
// AP Lang; Mrs. Lebryk-Chao asks the class to explain the differences between two terms, "Art" and "Craft."
Shane: As you can see, both "Art" and "Craft" have an "a" an "r" and a "t." So the only difference between them is a "c" and an "f," which stand for Captain Falcon, so "Craft" is better. -
#3909 + ()/55 - [ Report ]
// A student tries to say that someone is a good woman (elle est une bonne femme)
Mme. Delfosse (translated from French): Ah! Don't use the phrase "bonne femme"! It has a bad connotation in French. It means a woman who is... loose.
Mme Delfosse (in English): You know... not quite a whore, but... a ho... yes, a ho. -
#3571 + ()/55 - [ Report ]
// Students are talking while doing problems Dr. Walker assigned during class.
Student A: Hey, Dr. Walker, is it weird to see your students graduate? Or do you feel a sense of accomplishment? Like, "I helped that kid pass physics!"
Student B: Are you kidding? It's more like, "How'd I let that one get away?" -
#3435 + ()/65 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Auerbach is checking CS final projects - a and b have made MASH
Mr. Auerbach: What!? I have no kids?
Mr. Auerbach: But I'm married to Scarlett Johansson.
A: ... If you live in a shack, you won't have Scarlett Johansson.
Mr. Auerbach: She loves me for my inner beauty. -
#3402 + ()/57 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Sleete's class is compiling a list of the most significant events in US history from 1998 to 2008. For fun, they add some "insignificant" events too.
Student: We were going to put "Mr. Sleete receives his first AARP magazine" on the list, but it didn't fall within the decade.
Mr. Sleete: So cruel, but it's true.
