Top Quotes
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#733 + ()/53 - [ Report ]
// In AP French, the class has just finished discussing a poem in which someone gets a letter of rejection from a lover and kills himself. The following conversation is translated:
M. Beeckman: Imagine you are the person getting the letter. What would you do in this case?
N (girl): Um, I would run off with the gardener.
M. Beeckman: But what if your gardener wrote the letter?
N: I'd go with... the milk man.
// Later
M. Beeckman: What would YOU do in this case?
J (guy): I'd do the same thing as her.
M. Beeckman: So you'd run off with her gardener.
J: Right.
M. Beeckman: Be careful, threes don't mix well. -
#5433 + ()/52 - [ Report ]
// In English, discussing sexual scenes from The Catcher in the Rye
// Mr. Struck interrupts
Struck: I don't get how people are talking about this and giving me looks like they know more about it than I do.
Struck: ... I don't want to get graphic about it, but I AM a dad... -
#5337 + ()/60 - [ Report ]
// Dr. Smith is giving a lecture on kinetic energy
Dr. Smith: If you jump off the log, you don't keep your kinetic energy. It gets transferred into things like acoustical energy.
Dr. Smith: So five miles away, a Native American puts his ear to the ground and says "Oh, white man jump off log." -
#4745 + ()/60 - [ Report ]
// Jad isn't paying attention during Physics
Mr. Rose: Jad, what are you up to? What are you doing?
Jad: Nothing! Physics!
*Mr. Rose takes the book Jad is reading under the desk*
Mr. Rose: What is this, Stephen Meyer, is this good?
Jad: Uh...
// The book is, of course, "Breaking Dawn" by Stephanie Meyer. -
#4333 + ()/58 - [ Report ]
// During PE, when students were quickly running out of breath from raising their target heart rate...
Gardizel: As you have noticed, your heart rate went down from jogging for three minutes when you did push ups for one. Who knows what kind of exercise this is?
Student: *raises hand* anaerobic.
Gardizel: Correct! Explain this to us.
Student: *goes on about anaerobic respiration she has learned from AP Bio for a few minutes.*
// The whole gym applauds. -
#2939 + ()/54 - [ Report ]
// Explaining legal aspects of murder in English
Dr. Castaldo: Second degree murder is like, I have a fight with my boyfriend. He says something terrible, I say something terrible, he says something terrible, I pick up a knife and stab him.
Dr. Castaldo: First degree murder is when I have a fight with my boyfriend, and I go home, and think to myself "he's such a horrible person". Then I call him up, tell him I apologize, invite him over for dinner, and poison his food. -
#1487 + ()/54 - [ Report ]
// Alyson and Tanvi (sophs) enter Gym II to change. They note the freshman, not dressed out, hovering around dummies.
Tanvi: Look! They're doing CPU!
Alyson: Um...CPR?
Tanvi: Right. Ack, that reminds me last year, during the test thing, I had just come from Bio, and instead of saying "Now checking for circulation," I said, "Now checking for cellular respiration."
Alyson: That's nothing. In like 6th grade, during a babysitting training course, I said, "Now checking for circumcision." And that was before I knew what it meant! I got some funny looks... -
#1280 + ()/54 - [ Report ]
Mr. Richardson: Never use the word "nice" in your writing.
Mr. Richardson: Do you think this podium that Mr. McCarthy got from model UN is nice?
Student: Yes
Mr. Richardson: Describe it
Student: Well, it is sturdy, it has a nice color, and it can roll on wheels.
Mr. Richardson: Do you think Sophia is nice?
Student: Um...sure
Mr. Richardson: Well is she sturdy, have a nice color, and roll on wheels? -
#1012 + ()/54 - [ Report ]
// Assignment: Write a poem mimicking the Inferno, with stages of Hell
Mrs. Bello: If you're going to put someone in TJ in hell, please use a fake name.
Mr. Maney: If you're going to put me in Hell, please call me Mr. McCarthy.
Student: Oh, I'm going to tell him that!
Mr. Maney: Please do.
