Top Quotes
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#904 + ()/55 - [ Report ]
// Talking about having trouble typing because of a broken arm
vgguy2789: well, you can always use the mouse
Lechuck343: It's slightly difficult to type with a mouse.
vgguy2789: just bash it against the keyboard and you're sure to hit the right keys eventually
vgguy2789: given enough time, you could bash the entire works of Shakespeare!
// Two minutes later
vgguy2789: tgo b e or not to be, thqat niswb thy34v 1q7uews56t8990onj
vgguy2789: hmm... it's a bit tougher than I thought -
#5341 + ()/56 - [ Report ]
// Compsci, talking about numbering system with Mr. Rose
Mr. Rose: Why do we use base 10 numbers?
Student A: Because we have 10 fingers.
Mr. Rose: Why do the Mayans use base 20 numbers?
Student B: Because they have 10 fingers and 10 toes.
Mr. Rose: I heard the Sumerians used a base 60 numbering system.
Mr. Rose: They must have looked really funny! -
#4590 + ()/58 - [ Report ]
Dr. Acio: I once had a roommate who took organic chemistry with me. He told me that there was one concept he didn't understand until he was so drunk one night that it all came to him, and he thought "Aha!"
Student: Does this mean you're encouraging us to get drunk?
Dr. Acio: NO! -
#4337 + ()/50 - [ Report ]
// In AP Gov, discussing Habeas Corpus and how police procedure varies by locality.
Mr. Lamb: ...but if you're in Sweedunk, Missouri or somewhere like that, and the sheriff says, "I don't like your types. I'm throwin' you in jail," you can say: "Habeas Corpus! Habeas Corpus! I demand to see a judge!"
Mr. Lamb: Then he'll say, "Sure, my brother Cleetus is the judge. He'll be in later. He don't like your types either."
Mr. Lamb: ...Then you're probably screwed. -
#3894 + ()/52 - [ Report ]
// While talking about time management:
Ms. Rosenblum: You could get wax shower crayons and study in the shower!
Student: "What have you been doing in the shower for an hour?!"
"Studying for biology!"
Ms. Rosenblum (quietly): That sounds bad... better than studying for health... -
#1549 + ()/54 - [ Report ]
// You know you're old and losing your memory when...
// Watching the winter olympics. Russia has just won a gold.
Wil K.: There's the Ukraine's blue and yellow flag on the right...and there's the Russian Federation's in the middle.
Wil's dad: Wait, ...where?
Wil: That one with the white, red, and blue bars.
Wil's dad: Oh...what happened to the Hammer & Sickle?
Wil:...
// And they gave him a PhD... -
#4953 + ()/51 - [ Report ]
// In AP Physics. Some kid in the front row is asleep at his desk.
Dr. Dell: So if you combine these two equa-- *notices sleeping kid*
Dr. Dell: ...
*pulls out nerf ball gun, pelts the kid*
Dr. Dell: WAKE UP!!
// later
Dr. Dell: It's not the sleeping that bothers me. It's the loud snoring.
