Top Quotes
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#3841 + ()/50 - [ Report ]
// During Junior ethics seminar
Stueben: So this one time my wife comes up to me and says "I have the greatest idea! Let's go on vacation to San Francisco this week! It will be so great, we can go sailing and touring and eat at all the fabulous restaurants!" And I said "Sure! Let's go!" Except it was a total lie. I really didn't want to go at all. All I wanted to do was sit in my basement and solve math problems. -
#3297 + ()/48 - [ Report ]
Mr. Majeske: They like to rotate around the chairs of the committees, so they can get pictures of all of them holding the victorious gavel. They send those pictures back to the voters in their districts and they say "Dang, look at him with his gavel! I don't have a gosh-darn clue what that guy does but he sure looks good with that gavel. I'm going to vote for him so he can stay with the gavel longer." Isn't that sad?
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#3184 + ()/64 - [ Report ]
// While having a discussion on the importance of French history...
// (Everything is said in French.)
Mme. Lasalle: What did this mean for the people, the citizens and their livelihoods?
*silence*
Mme. Lasalle: Come on, I need some more participation in this class! ...Yes, Nicole?
Nicole: How do you say 'velociraptor' in French?
Mme. Lasalle: Pardon? ...Uhm, well, most scientific terms stay the same across the languages--
Nicole: I AM A VELOCIRAPTOR!!!
Mme. Lasalle: *facepalm* -
#2040 + ()/48 - [ Report ]
Mr. Zack: If you're gonna try to kill someone, just shoot them. It's really hard to stab someone to death. You have to keep stabbing them a lot of times.
Ayman: What if you stab someone in the forehead?
Mr. Zack: You try stabbing yourself with a knife in the forehead! I mean...wait...not you...well, just trust me. It's hard to stab someone to death. -
#1111 + ()/46 - [ Report ]
// Talk is flying around the school about whether there will be an early closing
Cliff: Guys, FCPS is always subject to peer pressure. Everyone else is letting school out early, so they're gonna too. It's like they're in a big group of people smoking pot and finally, FCPS is like "give me a hit!" -
#395 + ()/50 - [ Report ]
// Talking about hiccups in biology, Mr. McFaden turns to a personal anecdotes after a few minutes of contemplation
Mr. McFaden: So a long time ago I went to a parochial Catholic school. Mind you this was back in the fifties. The pope at the time had the hiccups so the nun had us praying that they would stop. By the way, a short prayer is sometimes called an ejaculation from the latin root which means throw out. So the nuns had us ejaculating so the pope would stop hiccuping. -
#5440 + ()/53 - [ Report ]
// In Smith Physics
Mr. Smith (facing away from the class): So I've got K, q and uhh...uh..
Jay: R.
Mr. Smith: Thanks whoever that was, Jay or Ed..you sit right next to each other...
Jay: It was me, Ed's asleep.
Mr. Smith: Oh okay, well thank you, Jay.
Mr. Smith: ...go to hell, Ed. -
#4317 + ()/57 - [ Report ]
Chhabra: How was your weekends, guys? I spent two hours pulling out weeds and that killed my back
*goes on about this for several minutes, when Ed Cai cuts in suddenly*
Ed Cai: I have green balls growing in my backyard.
Chhabra: You have green balls growing in your backyard?!? Are they fruit or something? Fruit is bad for my back too when they go in the soil and make little trees--
Ed Cai: No, they're weeds.
Chhabra: They're weeds?!?
*they argue about this, then Ed changes his mind*
Ed Cai: Actually, they kinda look like brains.
Chhabra: Balls, brains, all you need are brawns and you'll have human males growing in your backyard! -
#4234 + ()/47 - [ Report ]
// Discussing the Great Awakening in APUSH
Sleete: There were some major groups during this time. Those who resisted change were the Old Lights and those that favored change were the New Lights...
Sleete: ...and those that drank a lot were known as the "Bud" Lights
// Class laughs
Student: Really?
Sleete: What? Of course not! That was a joke! Please don't write that on the AP Exam
