Top Quotes
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#3640 + ()/51 - [ Report ]
// At Juniors' counselor meeting.
Ms. Spencer: So does anyone else have any examples of sexual harassment?
Aviv: Well, I was at the mall, and this girl came up to me.
Everyone else: *laughter*
Aviv: She said these guys were making nasty comments about her and wanted me to tag along with her and 'protect' her.
Everyone else: *applause*
Spencer: Now, now, we can't applaud until Aviv tells us if he provided protection!
Danny: Or used protection! -
#2307 + ()/49 - [ Report ]
// Electricity Demonstrations in Physics
Mr. Forbes: You know, we can show how this works.
Class: Awww...
Mr. Forbes: They say no one can ruin a good book like an English teacher. Well, no one can ruin a good demo like a physics teacher. First off, let's discuss the symbolism and motivation of the Van de Graaf generator. -
#1615 + ()/45 - [ Report ]
// During a class about population genetics...
Mrs. Stevens: Pretend that we put you on an island and told you to mate with each other.
*Class titters*
Stevens: Now, you would have certain preferences, so certain traits would... What?
*More giggles*
Stevens: Oh! My goodness, I'm sorry. Pretend that you are all Schmoos, and we put you on an island to mate.
*More lauging*
Stevens: Okay! A group of schmoos are on an island, and...
Student:*quietly* Haha, schmoo sex... -
#5240 + ()/48 - [ Report ]
// In AP Gov, there is a discussion about Madison's Federalist #10
Ms. Schoeplein: So Madison basically says that factions are groups who are opposed to the rights of others and are detrimental to society. Can anyone give me an example of a modern day faction?
Student: Team Edward and Team Jacob! -
#4184 + ()/50 - [ Report ]
Three sophomore girls are talking about summer chem.
Sophomore #1: But at least you guys had, like a bunch of friends there.
Sophomores #2 and #3: So? It still sucked.
Sophomore #1: Hey, at least you guys bonded!
Sophomore #1: ...
Sophomore #1: I swear that was unintentional. -
#3845 + ()/50 - [ Report ]
// During Junior ethics seminar
Stueben: So some day in the future you are going to get married. And you are going to buy a house. Your wife is going to say "I want to paint the kitchen blue!" And you will say "Well I want to paint the kitchen brown!" And you two will argue over this for months until you finally cave in and paint the kitchen blue because you miss the sex, so this whole argument will have been totally pointless and you will be bitter about it every time you walk into your kitchen.
Student: Let me guess, your kitchen is painted blue?
Stueben: No, purple.
