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Top Quotes

• #675 + (+39)/39 - [ Report ]

  // While dissecting a poem
  Ms. Orser: Sex, and money. What are differences, similarities?
  Kid: You can use both of them to pay for things?

• #289 + (+39)/41 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Blackwell: You know, artists write better stuff when they're on drugs. Like... Britney Spears. She's not on drugs, but I wish she was!

  Tags: blackwell

• #5834 + (+38)/44 - [ Report ]

  // Acio chem, talking about the fail presentations he had to grade at VJAS
  Acio: ...but the voltage is all about the electrodes, not the fruit! Then, she told me it had to do with the MASS of the fruit. I'm like OH. MY. GO-
  Student: Well yeah Dr. Acio, that's why power plants are so big.
  Acio: Yeah, you just go in there, open a door, and BAM, a big-ass WATERMELON sitting there!

  Tags: acio chem vjas watermelon

• #5417 + (+38)/50 - [ Report ]

  A: Oh, yeah, all the big musicians take drugs these days.
  B: Really? What about Justin Bieber?
  C: Estrogen.

• #5373 + (+38)/40 - [ Report ]

  // During an English discussion
  AZ: You can't change anything by doing nothing. Like, nothing would change if I simply refused to participate in this discussion.
  Ms. Iorga: I would shoot you.

  Tags: iorga

• #5359 + (+38)/40 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about getting a new phone via insurance from Verizon, and how it generally doesn't work.
  Dr. Dell: You walk into Verizon, start screaming, taking your clothes off, yelling "give me a goddamn phone," and eventually they will.

  Tags: dell

• #4965 + (+38)/38 - [ Report ]

  // Explaining couple of different bird species
  
  Dr. Wood: This is the Tufted Titmouse. *turns to a student who has been making sexual jokes frequently throughout the year* Yes! T-I-T mouse! TITmouse!

  Tags: wood

• #4846 + (+38)/38 - [ Report ]

  // After Hands on Science day
  Dr. Del Cerro: Thanks for volunteering today, everyone! When you get home, take a well earned rest. No studying tonight!
  Student: But I'm in AP Bio!
  Dr. Del Cerro: ...never mind.

  Tags: biology del_cerro

• #4622 + (+38)/38 - [ Report ]

  // During AP Government
  Mr. Majeske: Are you the future of America?
  Kennan: Yes.
  Mr. Majeske: Oh, God.
  Ian: There goes your Social Security.
  Mr. Majeske: No, please, have mercy.  That's how I'll keep a roof over my head.
  Mr. Majeske: Or several.

  Tags: government majeske

• #4235 + (+38)/40 - [ Report ]

  // AP Gov
  Kummer: So why should a 14-year-old girl who can get married in Alabama not be allowed to get married anywhere else?
  Danny: Because the culture in various parts of the US are really different...
  Kummer: Yeah, yeah, some of us aren't rednecks that get married to our cousins and others are...
  Danny: Well, coincidentally, I used to live in Alabama, and...
  Kummer: YOU MARRIED YOUR SISTER.

  Tags: kummer

• #3851 + (+38)/44 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing Texas
  Ethan: Everything's bigger in Texas, I bet their six actually IS eight.
  Mr. Struck: Ethan, I get the feeling for you six is almost four.

  Tags: struck

• #3807 + (+38)/54 - [ Report ]

  // At the beginning of class
  Struck: Oh, you guys have a physics test Thursday? What's it on?
  Student: Gravitation...
  Struck: Oh, well, me and Newton go way back... You know that whole apple thing?
  Struck: I actually threw the apple at his head. So all those laws of gravity you know are wrong...

  Tags: physics struck

• #3690 + (+38)/240 - [ Report ]

  // Talking to a freshman that plays football.
  Freshman: Dude, football gets you so many more girls than crap like "Manchoir" does.
  Danny: Does the football team ever have girls come up to them and say, "OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS WERE SO GOOD!!!" No? I didn't think so.

• #3616 + (+38)/42 - [ Report ]

  // HUM I English, talking about Chinese philosophers
  Mr. Williams: So who said that you don't need education to be moral?
  Student: Pink Floyd!

  Tags: english williams

• #3590 + (+38)/44 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. Sleete is explaining to the class that you always write in pen for essays.
  Mr. Sleete: Bringing a pencil to an essay test is like bringing a knife to a gunfight. You just don't do it.

  Tags: sleete

• #3266 + (+38)/44 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. Torbert is angry about a screwup in the Syslab
  Mr. Torbert: This is terrible!  This is an outrage!!  If I wore gloves I would slap you with one right about now!

  Tags: syslab torbert

• #3125 + (+38)/46 - [ Report ]

  // Class has drawn a bunny on the white board
  Stueben: *draws a 'vector' through it*
  Class: Ahh!
  Stueben: If you want to make little girls cry, shoot arrows into their bunnies.

  Tags: stueben

• #3072 + (+38)/38 - [ Report ]

  //World History, Mr. Blackwell is asking people questions while checking off names
  Mr. Blackwell: Andrew!  Name a country in Europe so small that the country and capital have the same name!
  Andrew: Monaco.
  Mr. Blackwell: Yes!  And what is Monaco known for?
  Andrew: Syphilis?

  Tags: blackwell

• #2954 + (+38)/54 - [ Report ]

  // In Chem, everyone is talking after finishing with a worksheet
  Chhabra: You know, there are so many yaks in here we could climb Mount Everest!

  Tags: chhabra

• #2645 + (+38)/38 - [ Report ]

  Jack:  Hey, what does ka stand for in this spreadsheet?
  Josh: A killion years.

  Tags: geosystems

• #2642 + (+38)/40 - [ Report ]

  // AP Lit, talking about our weekends. Kat has just shared a story where her pants split down the middle while she was at work.
  Mr. Green: It's always funny when your clothes come off and you're not expecting it. Just wait until next year...

  Tags: green

• #2115 + (+38)/42 - [ Report ]

  Jeff: Did you apply early to anywhere?
  Michael: Yes. To failure.

• #1993 + (+38)/42 - [ Report ]

  // Amy Plunk enters Jazz Band to see Mr. Blackwell as a sub
  *she runs over to Mr. Blackwell*
  Amy: Mr. Blackwell! You're out of rehab!

  Tags: amy_plunk blackwell jazz

• #1960 + (+38)/66 - [ Report ]

  // Brian Terrill walks up to a group of guys after school
  Brian: I'll bet you've never seen a rose with a bite taken out of it.
  Brian: *chomps down on rose*

  Tags: brian_terrill

• #1806 + (+38)/48 - [ Report ]

  // Band class. everyone's gone off on a tangent
  Mrs. Ulrey: All right, everyone, let's ... yes, Nate?
  Nate: What's that white box on the wall?
  Mrs. Ulrey: *drops baton* muttermutter Nate!
  Nate: Sorry... I've got a lot of rests in this piece!

  Tags: band ulrey

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