TJbash.org

Top Quotes

• #897 + (+31)/35 - [ Report ]

  // During a discussion about the Odyssey
  Mrs. Nelson: It's like god dust. It makes women look thinner. It makes men look taller and bigger.
  Travis: Where can I get some?
  Eugene: It's called... milk...

• #873 + (+31)/33 - [ Report ]

  // During his Christianity talk in Comparative Philosophy, on living by example
  Mr. Struck: Do I tell crude jokes? No! I just insult Mrs. Bicknell! That's good, clean entertainment.

  Tags: bicknell struck

• #747 + (+31)/33 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about some journalist who will be a guest on some C-SPAN show
  Mr. Kummer: This guy's been covering the presidents since... like, God.
  Mr. Kummer: ...Wait, ...God wasn't a US president.

  Tags: kummer

• #726 + (+31)/33 - [ Report ]

  Mikegold: In case you didn't know, I'm Jewish and it's an important part of my heritage, because my family is Jewish way way way back.
  Mr. Struck: Like Abraham?
  Mikegold: Kind of like that
  Julieann Choi: Waiiit... I didn't know Abraham Lincoln was Jewish!

  Tags: julieann_choi

• #626 + (+31)/37 - [ Report ]

  Dareth8: Gaack.  My hands are all shaky 'cause I just chopped some hedges with an electric saw.  Electric stuff makes hands shaky.
  TheDarkFuzz: So does caffiennksae
  TheDarkFuzz: Oops...balme it aonbmo the ahndsa
  Dareth8: /grin
  Dareth8: I hate it when that happens.
  TheDarkFuzz: These hands, they're liable to KILL ALL HUMANS.
  TheDarkFuzz: KILL THEM ALL.
  TheDarkFuzz: Godammit, I can't stKILL ALL THE HUMANS.
  TheDarkFuzz: KILL THE HUno, no killiKILL THEM ALnobody's killing anyboKILL THEM
  TheDarkFuzz: Shit,t hey're choking m
  TheDarkFuzz: t tfdkjlghtlr;lkets
  TheDarkFuzz: IT IS ALL RIGHT. WE ARE IN CONTROL NOW.

• #496 + (+31)/35 - [ Report ]

  // After a rally or class meeting
  K: Wait, TJHC?
  D: ... Homecoming?
  K: Ooooooooh...
  D: Yeah, took me a while too. At first I thought it was like marching band or something. Y'know, like, the Colonials and stuff.
  K: Oh yes... the Thomas Jefferson Harching Colonials.
  D: Or Thomas Jefferson High Cool! for Science and Technology.   

• #225 + (+31)/35 - [ Report ]

  "Polio, isn't that an STD?"
              -Nathaniel Stoltz

  Tags: nathaniel_stoltz

• #12 + (+31)/33 - [ Report ]

  // About his iPod
  Eric: I can use my touchpad through my pants. That's damn awesome.
  Dan: ... *scoots away*

  Tags: dan_tran eric_harmon

• #5935 + (+30)/30 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Burke: TJ and Catholic school are pretty much the same thing. No sex.

  Tags: burke tj

• #5674 + (+30)/36 - [ Report ]

  // Class is in a computer lab, which has no flag
  Announcements: Will you please stand for the pledge of allegiance?
  Students: *stand up and look for flag*
  Announcements: I pledge allegiance...
  Mrs. Brown: The flag is in your HEARTS, guys! Just say the pledge!

  Tags: brown history

• #5619 + (+30)/36 - [ Report ]

  // Dr. Uston is asking the class why no one read the textbook
  // Class is on a Wednesday
  Dr. Uston: Come on guys! You had Monday night, Tuesday night, and last night to read the textbook!

  Tags: uston

• #5116 + (+30)/46 - [ Report ]

  Mr Pollet: Just think about the standard love story. Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy...
  Student 1: TURNS GAY!

• #4923 + (+30)/72 - [ Report ]

  // On G-chat
  Zach Yaro: Taylor Swift is not a good singer IMO
  Sam Sohn: IMO?
  Zach Yaro: In my opinion
  Sam Sohn: Oh I was wondering why you were talking about the International Math Olympiad...

  Tags: sam_sohn zach_yaro

• #4775 + (+30)/32 - [ Report ]

  // Geosystems
  Student: Dr. Woodwell, I heard that you nailed someone's shoes to the wall once. Is that true?
  Dr. Woodwell: Ugh, that's how rumors get started.
  Student: But is it true?
  Dr. Woodwell: DON'T PUT YOUR FEET ON THE DESKS!

  Tags: geosystems woodwell

• #4321 + (+30)/30 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about his recent high school reunion
  Mr. Scholla: So this woman, who is really drunk, looks at me and says "Come on, this is our song."
  Mr. Scholla: I just turned away. She was a creeper.

  Tags: scholla

• #4305 + (+30)/34 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing empirical formulas in AP chem
  Dr. Jones: If you add the mass numbers, your math goes straight to...? *motions for answers*
  Students: *exchange confused looks*
  Dr. Jones: ...HELL!

  Tags: jones

• #4180 + (+30)/36 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about SR&R
  // Situation deals with a guy bringing a pocket knife to school with a blade of less than three inches
  Mr. Pearce: If you're a man, and your thing was that small, you wouldn't want to show anyone.
  Mr. Pearce: A three-incher can't penetrate that deep and cause damage.

  Tags: pearce

• #4046 + (+30)/30 - [ Report ]

  // Post game speech
  Coach Mowad: Good job guys, we rebounded well this game. Take Steve for example. He had 6 rebounds in the first half and 4 in the second half.
  *Coach counts his fingers*
  Coach: That's 14 rebounds guys!

  Tags: mowad

• #3959 + (+30)/34 - [ Report ]

  // Playing indoor soccer in gym class, a ball hits Coach Gardziel hard in the chest
  Coach Gardziel: Hey now, watch it!
  
  // A few minutes pass and a second ball flies close to his head
  Coach Gardziel: What the hell, man?! THERE WILL BE A FIGHT.

  Tags: gardziel

• #3833 + (+30)/32 - [ Report ]

  // At Brain Bee 2009:
  Judge: What is a legal use of the drug ketamine?
  *Long silence*
  Elliott: Date-rape drug?

• #3612 + (+30)/38 - [ Report ]

  // Dr. Walker is explaining terminal velocity in physics class
  Dr. Walker: So the point is: it doesn't matter whether you fall from 1000 feet or 10,000 feet...
  Dr. Walker: The size of the splat at the bottom will be the same.

  Tags: physics walker

• #3574 + (+30)/32 - [ Report ]

  // Dr. Castaldo telling her AP Lit class about the poetry textbook
  Dr. Castaldo: Oh, and one more thing. The author is a pompous ass.

  Tags: castaldo english

• #3191 + (+30)/40 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. Rose is describing a test he took in college
  Mr. Rose: So I walked up, handed the test to my professor, and walked out, muttering "you bastard..." under my breath the whole time.

  Tags: j_rose

• #3094 + (+30)/52 - [ Report ]

  // A cell phone goes off in French class
  Students: Uh oh...
  Madame Delfosse: *dances*

  Tags: delfosse

• #3011 + (+30)/34 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Torrence: I thought they were being sold on the black market. Or, where I grew up, the white market.

  Tags: torrence

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