Top Quotes
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#4565 + ()/29 - [ Report ]
// In Woodwell Geo; talking about geostrophic winds, Sam has feet on his desk
Dr. Woodwell: Sam! Get your foot off the desk!
Sam (who wasn't paying attention at all): It's the Coriolis Effect, it was dragging my foot...
Dr. Woodwell (stuttering): I'm gonna Coriolis your... your feckk... your foot! -
#4456 + ()/33 - [ Report ]
// In Spanish, discussing whether or not there should be condom dispensers in all schools
A: Well, there are kids at base school that go to dances and just have sex there.
Sra Mateo: Yeah, but you guys are TJ kids. You're smarter than that.
Sra Mateo: You'd go do it somewhere else. -
#4363 + ()/31 - [ Report ]
// After reading a story in which a student assumed the persona of a lamp in his room. It included the phrase "switches on and off."
Ms. Iorga: There's an innuendo in that, like the lamp is getting turned on!
Student: Ms. Iorga, it wasn't even us that went there. You took it there.
Ms. Iorga: Well, once you get to a certain age.... my mind just works that way. -
#4104 + ()/53 - [ Report ]
dmorris: So in real news, the North-Korean-run MyDoom botnet just self-destructed
dmorris: In an update to the malware, included was a program which destroyed all data on your computer
dmorris: It overwrote all attached drives with "memory of the independence day", followed by as many "U" characters as it took to fill up the rest of the drive
dmorris: so in Communist North Korea, virus writes U! -
#3843 + ()/35 - [ Report ]
// During Accelerated Comp Sci
Stueben: So there once was a man who worked at a factory trimming the edges off of books. He would slide the book into a slot and a big blade would come down and cut it. Once a piece of paper got stuck in the slot, so he reached in to move it, and the blade came down and sliced off his hand. Shocked, he reached in to pull his hand out, and the blade sliced off his other hand. What do you call a man like this?
Student: What?
Stueben: A bloody idiot! -
#3181 + ()/51 - [ Report ]
// In Mr. Williams' class, analyzing "Hey diddle diddle" and talking about close reading
Sam: Well, I think that there's a lot of sexual innuendo in this poem.
Mr. Williams: Yeah, I know what you mean-- "fiddle" could mean anything.
Nihaar: Well, they do have G-strings and F-holes...
