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Top Quotes

• #1217 + (+29)/35 - [ Report ]

  // At track practice--not making this up
  Coach James (to guy hurdlers): You guys need to drive out more! You look like little fairies jumping over those hurdles!
  Coach James: *does a fairy dance*
  Girl hurdlers: *try not to burst out laughing*

  Tags: james

• #883 + (+29)/31 - [ Report ]

  // Referring to a science project
  Student: I have a proposal to make...
  Dr. Cammer: Aww, that's sweet, but I don't want to marry you.

  Tags: cammer

• #843 + (+29)/33 - [ Report ]

  // About the XYZ affair
  Teddy: You know, it's a good thing they didn't label all of the guys "X," or it would be really hard to find stuff about it on the web.

• #842 + (+29)/29 - [ Report ]

  // In Chem Analysis, playing TextTwist. Dr. Kennedy is helping out.
  Dr. K: D... I... C... K
  Student: OH MY GOD, DR. KENNEDY!
  Dr. K: What? It's a word... I just didn't want to say it.
  // Oh, and it wasn't a word.    

• #764 + (+29)/29 - [ Report ]

  // At an 18th birthday party:
  Lizzie: Wait, I don't know if we have 18 candles for the cake...
  Louise: We can just use a couple and put it in binary!      

• #714 + (+29)/33 - [ Report ]

  // In AP Language class
  Mrs. Lebryk-Chao: I don't think you'll find an English teacher who dislikes semicolons.
  Me: Really?
  Mrs. Lebryk-Chao: Really. Semicolons are sexy!

  Tags: english lebryk-chao

• #577 + (+29)/29 - [ Report ]

  // Andrew explains the problems with his golf swing to the class for his multigenre sem project presentation (on golf)
  Andrew: So my balls invariably end up to the right in the trees.
  Mr. Zack: I think there must be something wrong with your grip.

  Tags: zack

• #150 + (+29)/31 - [ Report ]

  AntarcticPhoenix: like meg
  AntarcticPhoenix: *meh
  AntarcticPhoenix: but not quite
  Jack Breese: who is meg?
  AntarcticPhoenix: *****MEH
  Jack Breese: is she hot?

  Tags: jack_breese nathan_watson

• #3 + (+29)/31 - [ Report ]

  // During Computer Architecture Class
  Mr. Strong: I'm not allowed to say ass unless it is in a biblical context, so I'll say half-donkey.

  Tags: strong

• #5444 + (+28)/34 - [ Report ]

  // During primate lecture
  Dr. Del Cerro: ...like the primates in China. You know, the koalas who climb poles and eat bamboo...

  Tags: biology del_cerro

• #5113 + (+28)/46 - [ Report ]

  // Second week of school in US/VA HUM
  Struck: Listen up! We have something very important to say!
  Struck: If we ever happen to have a fire drill, we go this way, down the stairs.
  Struck: Not like it would happen any time soon... But if we just so happened to be in this room during a fire drill, that's the way to go.
  *Fire Alarm goes off*

  Tags: struck

• #4966 + (+28)/30 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. Majeske is handing out final exams to his AP Government class
  Mr. Majeske: There will be no freebies on this exam -
  Brian: No freebies?  Do you want me to fail?
  // Mr. Majeske glares at Brian
  Brian: Do we still get a point for the heading?

  Tags: government majeske

• #4823 + (+28)/40 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. Rose just caught someone napping.
  Mr. Rose: You know, you got off easy. I had to use a big stick to wake up someone in an earlier period.
  Student: Did you speak softly?
  Rest of the class: *groans*

  Tags: j_rose physics

• #4328 + (+28)/34 - [ Report ]

  // English 11, Mr. Green is walking around to check student's progress on their work. One student has not managed to complete much.
  Mr. Green: Oh come on, it's been 45 minutes, surely you must have gotten *something* done. Show me your paper.
  Student: *hesitantly flips the sheet over*
  Mr. Green: *screams*

  Tags: english green

• #4056 + (+28)/30 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Kummer: What group of islands off the coast of Africa was uninhabited at the time of their discovery?
  Student: The Virgin Islands?
  Mr. Kummer: Not the Virgin Islands...I said they were uninhabited, not un.....sexed.

  Tags: kummer

• #3914 + (+28)/46 - [ Report ]

  // Playing Rock Band with some of the Manchoir guys.
  Danny: *singing* It's the eye of the tiger...
  Andrew: *comes along, harmonizes*
  *The Mic icon on the band meter starts falling*
  Danny: PALMER, SHUT UP, YOU DON'T GET BONUS POINTS FOR HARMONIZING.

  Tags: choir

• #3814 + (+28)/30 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing taxes
  Mr. Kummer: So you're saying you get a tax break for having children?
  Mr. Struck: Yes...
  Mr. Kummer: I better get on that!

  Tags: kummer struck

• #3754 + (+28)/62 - [ Report ]

  // Richard can't get his computer to log on.
  Richard: Ugh, God hates me.
  McFaden: Why do we have to be restricted to God?

  Tags: mcfaden

• #3631 + (+28)/38 - [ Report ]

  // Dr. Dell is lecturing.
  Dr. Dell (to Emma): Why do you have such a weird look on your face?
  Emma: I don't have a weird look on my face! You're hallucinating.
  Dr. Dell: I'm not hallucinating. I know when I'm hallucinating.

  Tags: dell

• #3182 + (+28)/28 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing politics in AP Gov
  Student: I only know what NAFTA is because of Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter.

  Tags: government

• #3145 + (+28)/46 - [ Report ]

  // In somewhere similar to TJ.
  Student 1: Ohmygod, this feels like home.
  Student 2: ...home? Did you mean TJ?
  Student 1: Damnit.
  Student 2: TJ ≠ home.
  Student 1: Yes, it does.

  Tags: tj

• #2936 + (+28)/36 - [ Report ]

  After listening to Mr. Frels claim credit for TJ becoming the number one high school
  Nick: Mr. Frels claims the credit for everything. If there were a sudden resurgence in the giant panda population, Frels would be like, 'Oh yeah, I repopulated the pandas!'

  Tags: frels

• #2878 + (+28)/28 - [ Report ]

  // On making a video for our final project
  Mr. Lamb: It’s funny and informative.  What more can you ask for? ...Well, it could be sexy, but let’s not go there.

  Tags: lamb

• #2671 + (+28)/32 - [ Report ]

  // AP Euro, a student has just brought up the concept of pure pleasure in Thomas More's "Utopia"
  Mr. Sacks: So you mean that they're running around eating banana splits and fornicating?
  Student: Uh...no.
  Mr. Sacks: Sounds like pure pleasure to me.

  Tags: sacks

• #2646 + (+28)/30 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Kummer: Now I know what you're thinking-- Dr. Strangelove is NOT a porno flick, despite the title.

  Tags: kummer

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