Top Quotes
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#632 + ()/31 - [ Report ]
AntarcticPhoenix: i was only trying to reconfigure x... i've just reinstalled half the system...
JasonGJi: well done
// Just a minute later
AntarcticPhoenix: i think it just installed tetris.
JasonGJi: woo, you did something right!
AntarcticPhoenix: yeah.
AntarcticPhoenix: well.
AntarcticPhoenix: the tetris installation worked.
AntarcticPhoenix: but i was trying to set the screen resolution. -
#209 + ()/27 - [ Report ]
// During the Hum II field trip, outside the Hirshhorn building
Ravi Udeshi: *picks up cell phone* Hello? Who is this? *pause* This better not be a telemarketer, because I have better things to do with my time. I'm on the toilet right now. *pause* Hello? I'M ON THE TOILET RIGHT NOW! I don't waste time with telemarketers. *pause* Oh, hi Michael. SHIT. -
#5950 + ()/28 - [ Report ]
// A girl walks into class late with pancakes, hands Mr. Pollet a note
Mr. Pollet: *sarcastically* Oh and you even brought pancakes for me!
Girl: Actually yeah, I brought these for you.
Mr. Pollet: *looking surprised* Everyone, this is how you should come late to class. A note and pancakes. Give her a round of applause!
Class: *claps* -
#5421 + ()/30 - [ Report ]
Dr. Uston: Dust mites are annoying pests, they can bite.
Class: ???
Dr. Uston: What, you've never woken up with dark red spots all over your body?
// Later
Dr. Uston: They've trained dogs to smell dust mites!
N: I think you're talking about bed bugs.
Dr. Uston: Don't dust mites bite? Why would I be talking about bedbugs? -
#5282 + ()/28 - [ Report ]
// Mrs. Schmid is retiring and is telling the class about the possible replacement teacher
Schmid: And even if he doesn't know the curriculum exactly, he can just pick another teacher to stay a week behind in lesson plans.
Student: But then we won't finish!
Schmid: Yeah, but do you really care?
