Top Quotes
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#1245 + ()/23 - [ Report ]
// Topics field trip to the National Academy of Sciences, talking to a large group
Mr. Jensen (a staff member): So we said no to doing research on raisins because it benefitted a cereal manufacturer that will be unnamed. If we aren't objective in our research, no one in Congress or the government will want to use us. You have to hold on to your objectivity very tightly. Once it's gone, there's no getting it back. It's like your virginity.
Mr. Jensen: ...I won't get in trouble with the School Board for that, right? -
#1013 + ()/27 - [ Report ]
// The German "educational singer" Uwe Kind onstage during a German field trip
Uwe: So, 'der Kopf'! What is 'Kopf'?
Audience: The head.
Uwe And 'der Rucken'! What is 'Rucken'?
Audience: The back.
Uwe: Very good! And finally, 'der Scheisse'. 'Scheisse' means 'shit' in English."
Audience: (stunned silence.)
// Note: Mr. Kind is from Germany, where public profanity is socially acceptable.
// Apparently no one told Mr. Kind that the same standards didn't apply to his
// English-speaking audience of 1,000 FCPS students, teachers, and administrators. -
#251 + ()/31 - [ Report ]
// Reviewing rest types in orchestra
*draws on board*
Class: Half rest!
*draws some more*
Class: Whole rest!
**
Class: Quarter rest!
**
Class: Eighth rest!
*adds flag*
Class: Sixteenth!
**
Class: 32nd!
**
Class: 64th!
*adds square root symbol*
Andy Menke: 8 rad 2th!
William Yang: The square root of 64 is 8.... -
#103 + ()/25 - [ Report ]
Geoff: damnit, now i've done it. i shall have to use my manly wiles to amuse you until you are happy again.
Geoff: now, i'll go leave the toilet seat up!
Geoff: and be laughably incompetent when it comes to taking care of infants, interpreting signals sent by other genders, and set the kitchen on fire as i try to cook! -
#5269 + ()/24 - [ Report ]
Student: Mrs. Lister, I don't remember what "fragorem" means.
// Mrs. Lister throws a textbook onto a desk, making a loud bang.
Class: Aiee!
Mrs. Lister: THAT, my friend, was a fragorem. Any questions?
Class: No, magistra!
Mrs. Lister: I probably shouldn't have scared you that much. -
#4915 + ()/24 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Lewis has just drawn a cylinder with a hole through it on the Inventor program
Mr. Lewis: You can create several components on this program and assemble them together! Now unfortunately, you all just came back from FLE... but for example... you can stick a rod through this cylinder... -
#4869 + ()/26 - [ Report ]
// Watching Frankenstein in English. The Creature growls suggestively at Elizabeth
Mr. Pollet: Oh! I have a story about...no, never mind.
Daniel: No, Mr. Pollet, tell us!
Mr. Pollet: No, I was just saying that I have some experience with that...
Katie: Now you have to tell us!
Daniel: Yeah, you can't just leave it at "no, never mind."
Mr. Pollet: No. Come back when you're 18. -
#4450 + ()/24 - [ Report ]
// Commenting on #4358:
Majeske: You know, my wife and children give me a hard time over TJbash.
Majeske: This morning, they sat there eating their cereal and said, "Faith points?" and I took a moment to work out what they were saying, and then I realized.
Majeske: As if my life isn't hard enough as it is! -
#4398 + ()/24 - [ Report ]
// Students are talking loudly during 8th period Physics tutoring
Mr. Scholla: Guys, quiet down, there's a student taking a test in here.
*Students continue talking*
Mr. Scholla: Unless you want me to come back there and open a can of whoopass on you.
Nathan: Let's keep all those cans of whoopass right where they are.
