TJbash.org

Top Quotes

• #4607 + (+17)/35 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Potoker: So, are you running in the meet this weekend?
  Student: No, I'm injured.
  Mr. Potoker: Is it your liver?
  Student: Yes, Barry, it's my liver.

  Tags: potoker

• #4220 + (+17)/23 - [ Report ]

  // In physics
  A: *singing softly* So don't go breaking my heart... I won't go breaking your heart! Don't go breaking my-
  B: Why are you singing that?
  A: Oh, physics and I have a strange courtship. That's our song.
  A: It's a filthy liar.

  Tags: physics

• #3955 + (+17)/33 - [ Report ]

  // Asking questions on lectures the students were supposed to read over spring break
  Mr. Sleete: Who was known as the as the Gandhi of the Hispanic movement?
  Shane: Fidel Castro?

  Tags: apush sleete

• #3913 + (+17)/25 - [ Report ]

  // At a Latin event outside the school. There are lit candles on a table at the front of the room and large numbers of helium balloons next to the table. A Latin teacher is presenting something. A TJ student and Mrs. Lister are standing next to the table.
  Mrs. Lister: (quietly) I'm kind of nervous. Can helium ignite and cause a large explosion because of the candles?
  TJ student: Yes, absolutely.
  *Mrs. Lister moves candles away from balloons.*

  Tags: lister

• #3610 + (+17)/19 - [ Report ]

  // Walking in the hall before lunch
  Mitchell: What? You've never heard of the DK Rap?!
  Vinny: No...
  Mitchell: What's wrong with you? Do you live under a hole?
  Mitchell: Wait...

• #3548 + (+17)/35 - [ Report ]

  // HUM 1 English
  Mr. Williams: So Percival sees three drops of blood in the snow and thinks, "Oh, that reminds me of my girlfriend!"
  Steven: Whoa, what were they doing? Were they into S&M or something?

  Tags: english williams

• #3185 + (+17)/57 - [ Report ]

  Person A: The word was 'agathakakological'.
  Person B: Wow, what does THAT mean?
  Person A: Well, it's archaic...
  Nicole: WE CAN HAVE 'ARCHAIC' AND EAT IT, TOO! *runs away*
  Persons A & B: ...

• #3139 + (+17)/53 - [ Report ]

  // More bomb evacuation quotes
  Student: Dude, at any moment, we're just gonna hear over the loudspeakers, "Bomb has been planted". And then we'll start hearing, "Headshot!" and "Multikill!". And hopefully, we'll hear, "Bomb has been neutralized" at some point.

• #3133 + (+17)/29 - [ Report ]

  // In the middle of a conversation
  a: it's always good to be self-absorbed
  b: unless you're an amoeba

• #3090 + (+17)/29 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Kummer: DS, can you explain to the class what UN Resolution 242 said?
  DS: Well, basically it said that Israel had to withdraw its forces from the territories it took and all the other nations had to stop Q__Q-ing all the time.
  Mr. Kummer: ...

  Tags: kummer

• #3052 + (+17)/25 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing STDs in Health
  Dr. Deivert: And it's very condom... er, common...
  *Laughter*
  Dr. Deivert: Well, that was Freudian.

  Tags: deivert health

• #2912 + (+17)/25 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about symbolism in English
  Dr. Castaldo: So, this picture of a stop sign can only be interpreted one way: "stop".
  Students: Well...
  Dr. Castaldo: Okay, fine. You can interpret it as something else, but you'll either get arrested or killed.

  Tags: castaldo english

• #2890 + (+17)/33 - [ Report ]

  canadabear7: Michael: I want an alex simon v. greg vernon dumb-off
  Greg Vernon: i would so win!
  Greg Vernon: wait. . .
  Greg Vernon: i would lose

  Tags: greg_vernon michael_kremer

• #2331 + (+17)/37 - [ Report ]

  Drew Nuti: whether or not I have a fever, the pressure is increasing and probably related by pv = mrt, the temp is increasing
  Teddy McNeill: wow that was geeky
  Drew: i figured since I have no intentions of scoring with you that I could do that
  Teddy: ...

  Tags: drew_nuti teddy_mcneill

• #2214 + (+17)/25 - [ Report ]

  // Health Contraception Video
  Doctor: Another method of preventing pregnancy is IUD. No one is quite sure how it works.

  Tags: health

• #1760 + (+17)/23 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing the upcoming SOLs
  Ethan: You can't overthink them, because they weren't designed for thinking!

  Tags: ethan_stone

• #1737 + (+17)/23 - [ Report ]

  // After Mrs. Chhabra's comment in #1730
  Ioana [to Ren]: Wait, who's the walrus?
  Mrs. Chhabra: Yes, Ioana, you remind me of a walrus.

  Tags: chhabra

• #1544 + (+17)/21 - [ Report ]

  EvilWeaselofDoom: Surgeon General's warning: Smoking may cause you to GET B+

• #1520 + (+17)/25 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about chinese school where B's mom teaches...
  A: you know, your mom really hated me when i was in her class
  B: no...
  A: yes. I and a bunch of other people sat in the back and she hated us.
  B: well she hated me too when i was in her class...
  A: you're her daughter, of course she hated you

• #1330 + (+17)/17 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Richardson: I'm not afraid of Ms. Conklin. She's a liberal.

  Tags: richardson

• #1078 + (+17)/25 - [ Report ]

  // In Drivers Ed
  Our entire table: GOOD AFTERNOON MS. STETSON!
  Ms. Stetson: WHAT THE -

• #1047 + (+17)/23 - [ Report ]

  E: You know, it's the funniest thing: I have the Captain Planet theme song stuck in my head.
  K: Oh... really.
  E: Hey, did you watch Captain Planet when you were a kid?
  K: What's Captain Pla--
  E: YOUR CHILDHOOD WAS MEANINGLESS AND EMPTY. EMPTY LIKE YOUR SOUL!

• #984 + (+17)/17 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Buxton: The instrument to measure my indifference has not yet been invented.

  Tags: buxton

• #931 + (+17)/27 - [ Report ]

  Ryan: Mr. Stueben's way of giving out final grades is a RANDOM LETTER GENERATOR...

  Tags: stueben

• #835 + (+17)/17 - [ Report ]

  // In TA, discussing inappropriate dancing...
  Michael Lowman: Does that mean that for most of the year, when there are no soc hops, everyone is getting laid every Friday night!?
  Sahil Marya: Yes.

  Tags: michael_lowman sahil_marya

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