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#4620 + (+8)/16 - [ Report ]

// Students are asking how secret the confidential peer evaluations will be
Mr. Struck: Yeah, I keep secrets real well... (*fake whisper*) unless you wanna talk about Mr. Miller! Psst!

Tags: hum miller struck
#4583 + (+8)/78 - [ Report ]

// While helping a student search for a pair of boots in the boot room
Mr. Kosek: Why hello, Mr. Boot! Aren't you a cute little boot? Where's your partner, Mr. Boot? Aw, you're so adorable!

Tags: kosek
#4533 + (+8)/18 - [ Report ]

// Ms. Schoeplein is discussing the 2009 Afghanistan election candidates in AP Gov

Schoeplein: The opposition candidate was Abdullah Abdullah.
Schoeplein: Abduallah^2.

Tags: schoeplein
#4449 + (+8)/16 - [ Report ]

// AP Euro has for some inexplicable reason decided to try to convince Mr. Sacks that November is "No Shave Month."
Sacks: No. You see, for me, November is "No Bathe Month." It makes things so much simpler.

Tags: sacks
#4389 + (+8)/24 - [ Report ]

// After taking a rhetorical vocab test in AP Lang
Mrs. Harris: (sarcastically) You know what? I don't like you! And I'll keep on taking off points for the rest of your life!
Andy Mai: Hyperbole!

Tags: andy_mai harris
#4323 + (+8)/24 - [ Report ]

// AP Bio, Dr. Wood is explaining the essay portion of the AP examination.
Dr. Wood: It's really important that you master this, because the essay is the key to getting a 5.
Student: What if our hands are slow?
Dr. Wood: Oh trust me, your hands will get a LOT faster.

Tags: biology wood
#4194 + (+8)/34 - [ Report ]

Student: If you find yourself trying to edit ".tjbashrc," does it mean you're reading too much TJbash...or that you're using Linux too much?

Tags: tj
#3882 + (+8)/38 - [ Report ]

// Talking about US imperialism
Struck: William Seward negotiated the purchase of Alaska from Russia. He said, "Who knows what resources may lie under the Alaska land."
Student: Grizzly bears?

Tags: struck
#3796 + (+8)/12 - [ Report ]

Student: Mr. Rose, do you watch beauty pageants?
J. Rose: No, I only watch the swimwear section.

Tags: j_rose physics
#3771 + (+8)/38 - [ Report ]

// Mr. Forbes at the beginning of class
Forbes: Since it is a block day and I love you guys, here is a homework quiz.

Tags: forbes physics
#3641 + (+8)/12 - [ Report ]

Mr. Struck: Where have you two been?
*N hands him a pass*
Mr. Struck: What were you doing with Mrs. Bello?
N: Oh, the usual.
Mr. Struck: We were just speculating about who had mono...
A: Oh, I had mono.
Mr. Struck: Me too.
*pause*
Mr. Struck: I was 10!

Tags: struck
#3481 + (+8)/18 - [ Report ]

<Clecky> Results 1 - 10 of about 128 for "drug free canada". (0.27 seconds)
<Clecky> Results 1 - 10 of about 37,100 for "drug free america". (0.34 seconds)
#3132 + (+8)/28 - [ Report ]

Kevin: OMG there's this Buzz-Light-Year-Shoot-Zurg's-Minions game at Disney World, but it like moves your spaceship so its like moving targets and that's the challenge. So while I was going it like stopped in the middle of the course, so I picked the hardest target in the back and nailed it 13 times before it started again. Got the day's high score!
Guy: ... You h4xx3d a kid's game?
Other guy: 13 times, that's only half 1337.
#3016 + (+8)/20 - [ Report ]

// Rolling snowball on that fateful snow day
Justin: Hey! This is like Katamari!

Tags: tj
#2962 + (+8)/10 - [ Report ]

// People won't stop talking in class.
Ms. Stegall: I'm going to get a stun gun, and start pointing it at people who keep running their mouths.
Ms. Stegall: I have a stun gun. I use it in yearbook. It gets people working.

Tags: stegall
#2178 + (+8)/24 - [ Report ]

Dr. Dell: Nebulas are called nebulas because they're nebulous.

Tags: dell physics
#2129 + (+8)/14 - [ Report ]

Ms. Stamper: When all else fails, put the book on your head.

Tags: stamper
#2105 + (+8)/56 - [ Report ]

Betty: I like your earrings. Actually, I can only see one, but I assume they're the same.
Ren: Thanks. Yeah, they are the same. Though actually, I think I like this one a lot better than this one.
Betty: But... they're the exact same...
Ren: Maybe I'm just ear-rational.
#2032 + (+8)/28 - [ Report ]

// After Pep-Band
Sean: Here we are standing in our high-school parking lot at 11:00 at night. At any other school this would be sketchy, but no, we're discussing Chuck Norris.
#2010 + (+8)/14 - [ Report ]

Dr. Walker: I was raised by wolves... Yes... that would explain a lot.

Tags: walker
#2008 + (+8)/22 - [ Report ]

// On the morning bus
Mr. Sisk (through intercom): Everyone, raise your hand if you think that Jason is a bleepin' hardcore liberal!
#1909 + (+8)/36 - [ Report ]

Mr. Rose: Vectors are good for you! They make your hair grow!

Tags: j_rose physics
#1887 + (+8)/34 - [ Report ]

Mrs. Parnell: Okay everyone, pull out your names (referring to name tags)
*Brian raises hand*
Mrs. Parnell: Yes?
Brian: I accidentally left my name in English...

Tags: brian_stoepker parnell
#1646 + (+8)/16 - [ Report ]

// After Mr. Latimer gave his tech-lab students a lecture on what assignments were due
Mr. Latimer: And your final quiz question is multiple choice. Last night, in the women's college basketball championship, the shot that put the game in to overtime was wha...
Calvin: 3-pointer.
Mr. Latimer: Would you be quiet? Was what kind of shot? A. Two pointer, B. Four pointer, C. Foul shot, D. Three pointer. And fill in the blank: who made the shot?
Calvin: Tolliver.
Mr. Latimer: Good job! You win the magical prize!
Student: Congratulations! You watch women's basketball!

Tags: latimer
#1611 + (+8)/10 - [ Report ]

Matt: I'd like to thank my mom. I'd like to thank Jesus--I couldn't have gotten through it without you.
Allison: And I'd like to thank KY, I couldn't have gotten through you without it...

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Top Quotes

#4620 + (+8)/16 - [ Report ]

#4583 + (+8)/78 - [ Report ]

#4533 + (+8)/18 - [ Report ]

#4449 + (+8)/16 - [ Report ]

#4389 + (+8)/24 - [ Report ]

#4323 + (+8)/24 - [ Report ]

#4194 + (+8)/34 - [ Report ]

#3882 + (+8)/38 - [ Report ]

#3796 + (+8)/12 - [ Report ]

#3771 + (+8)/38 - [ Report ]

#3641 + (+8)/12 - [ Report ]

#3481 + (+8)/18 - [ Report ]

#3132 + (+8)/28 - [ Report ]

#3016 + (+8)/20 - [ Report ]

#2962 + (+8)/10 - [ Report ]

#2178 + (+8)/24 - [ Report ]

#2129 + (+8)/14 - [ Report ]

#2105 + (+8)/56 - [ Report ]

#2032 + (+8)/28 - [ Report ]

#2010 + (+8)/14 - [ Report ]

#2008 + (+8)/22 - [ Report ]

#1909 + (+8)/36 - [ Report ]

#1887 + (+8)/34 - [ Report ]

#1646 + (+8)/16 - [ Report ]

#1611 + (+8)/10 - [ Report ]