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Top Quotes

• #4606 + (+7)/11 - [ Report ]

  // After finishing a problem set
  Scholla: That's it!
  *eats a piece of the problem set paper*
  Scholla: That was a tough problem...

  Tags: physics scholla

• #4557 + (+7)/21 - [ Report ]

  Ani: How come whenever Merry and Pippin get in trouble, Gandalf only gets mad at Pippin and not Merry?
  Luke: Hmm... Gandalf likes short men with girl names...
  Aryan: So if I were Gandalf, Ani would be Merry.
  Ani: HEY!

  Tags: ani_mohan aryan_khojandi luke_knepper

• #4484 + (+7)/47 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Torrence: They bow to each other in Japan instead of shaking hands because, you see, it's rude for people to touch each other in Japan.
  Mr. Torrence: I always wondered how those people reproduce...

  Tags: torrence

• #4049 + (+7)/25 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about E's sugar sensitivity
  E: If I eat too much chocolate or sugar, I pass out.
  J: Sweet! Now I can leave the rohypnol at home and just bring her a Hershey's bar.

• #4014 + (+7)/23 - [ Report ]

  // Hum 1, Mr. Sacks is lecturing about the feudal system
  Mr. Sacks: So when lords give land to their subjects, the subjects in turn would sometimes give out a portion of their own land
  // Draws an example on the board
  Student: It's recursive!

  Tags: hum sacks

• #3866 + (+7)/23 - [ Report ]

  // In HUM II English
  Mrs. O'Brien: Yes, I got married as a child bride, at the age of 21.
  Class: How long ago was that?
  Mrs. O'Brien: Millions of years ago...

  Tags: obrien

• #3795 + (+7)/23 - [ Report ]

  // After a French test
  D: I couldn't remember if Conakry was in France... I knew they were in Senegal, and I was like, did he take an airplane and fly 600 miles north? But then I remembered they don't have airplanes in Africa, so I put false.

• #3286 + (+7)/21 - [ Report ]

  // In Health, discussing Health Contract
  Dr. Deivert: Let's see.... this book even has a section on 'dating skills!' Psh, more like attack plans...
  Danny: Does it go over preemptive strikes?
  Dr. Deivert: No, that'd be under 'abstinence.'

  Tags: deivert pe

• #3134 + (+7)/49 - [ Report ]

  1: Hey, is firefighter a pc term?
  2: No, I don't think so... there's a fire -wall- though...
  1: ....I meant 'politically correct'...

• #2667 + (+7)/37 - [ Report ]

  // On a debate trip
  Dr. Wood: So I was running and I was listening to this great song, so I ran four miles!
  Hannah: ...
  Dr. Wood: It was Linkin Park!

  Tags: wood

• #2594 + (+7)/21 - [ Report ]

  // On a handout on a field trip
  Mr. Helm: Hum-II Panic Button! (picture of a button labeled "Panic!") That won't work, of course, so in emergency call...

  Tags: helm

• #2508 + (+7)/21 - [ Report ]

  Sean: Paul, you're such an inconvenience.
  Paul: Yeah, I know. Later on, I'm gonna open up an inconvenience store.
  Danny: And, what? Sell yourself?
  Sean: That'd be called a brothel.
  Paul: ... What's a brothel?

• #1578 + (+7)/9 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about cheating in English 10
  Mr. R: So instead of pressuring students to smoke dope, they encourage students to get involved in cheating?

• #1543 + (+7)/9 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Mcarthy: Arian, for example would prey on little people.
  Kevin: Arian's not that big himself.
  Mr. Mcarthy: But his hair makes him look big.
  Mr. Mcarthy: So Arian would maybe prey on someone like Anna, and, to defend her purse, she would pull a knife out and stab him. That's what Hobbes is saying.

  Tags: mccarthy

• #1498 + (+7)/17 - [ Report ]

  // Eating cookies in Hum, someone asks a question while eating.
  Mr. Struck: Didn't anyone tell you it's bad to eat with your mouth full?

  Tags: struck

• #1474 + (+7)/15 - [ Report ]

  Jeff: I named it froot! It's the frequency in the root node.
  Steven: That's awesome. Do you loop over froot?
  Jeff: Yeah.
  Steven: So, it's like a froot loop!

• #1326 + (+7)/9 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Randall: You need to stroke your car... fondle the parts.

  Tags: randall

• #1313 + (+7)/11 - [ Report ]

  // During mock trial
  Sam Leven: Objection, your Honor!
  Alyson Szymanski: Sustained! What is your purpose in this line of questioning?!
  Matt Wansley: Your honor, I find this line of questioning highly amusing.

• #1311 + (+7)/7 - [ Report ]

  // Supposedly groins are a type of beachside structure used to trap sand
  Mr. Rizor: A groin. I have yet to find a useful purpose for one, but let me show you how they work.

  Tags: rizor

• #1296 + (+7)/13 - [ Report ]

  // AP Gov
  
  Mr. Kummer: Speaking of the pornography discussion.
  *takes off jacket*
  Nolan: He says as he takes off his  clothes.
  Mr. Kummer: Hey! It's hot in here!
  Mr. Kummer: In 1991 the Supreme Court ruled that nude dancing does not enjoy full protection under the first amendment. (Barns v. Glen Theatre Inc.)

  Tags: government kummer

• #1066 + (+7)/7 - [ Report ]

  // Dr. Walker is bragging about his car
  Chris: Well, my car's better, its faster.
  Stuart: Drag race, after school.
  Chris: Ya, lets drag race.
  Stuart: And I can be the Drag Queen!   

• #985 + (+7)/13 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Richardson: Casear was returning from defeating the Gauls, now some of you might say, "That's no big deal, anyone can do that," but back then it was a big deal.

  Tags: richardson

• #977 + (+7)/11 - [ Report ]

  // On the TJMC New York trip, after discovering that another band is going to play the same show that we just played.
  
  Telkins: Man that sucks! They have the same music as us! Hey, I have an idea! Why don't we find out when that band is playing, and then march onto the field and play along during their show?
  
  Jack: I have an idea! Why don't we find the other band's drum majors, and then stab them!

• #927 + (+7)/11 - [ Report ]

  Coach Aurbach: How do we keep these geese off the field?!
  Some kid from a previous football season: Just close the gates at night.

• #919 + (+7)/15 - [ Report ]

  Mrs. Gecan: ...what, no. Julian's mom is a sexy beast!!!

  Tags: gecan

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