Top Quotes
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#4386 + ()/130 - [ Report ]
// During an AP Chem ideal gas laws lecture
Kauffman: And that's something you'll go into your freshman year chemistry class - Oh, by the way, if ever in the freshman year, some time in the middle of the night, you hear the chant, "Toga! Toga!" and you require an emergency toga, here's what you do.
*Proceeds to take out a bed sheet from nowhere and shows the class how to make an emergency toga in about 8 seconds*
Class: ...
*Almost gives Mr. Kauffman an ovation, but stops*
Kauffman: And now let's return to gas laws. Oh, and the bed sheet has to be twin sized. -
#4511 + ()/135 - [ Report ]
Dr. Dell: You may find that, while taking this class, you have problems sleeping.
Dr. Dell: You see, every September, I make a voodoo doll for every student in my class. Then I send them all down to this witch in Haiti, who curses them to bind the dolls to the students and sends them back to me.
Dr. Dell: Every time a student makes a stupid mistake on a test, I take this huge needle and shove it up the voodoo doll's ass.
Dr. Dell: And that's why you wake up at night. -
#3659 + ()/133 - [ Report ]
// Discussing Problem Notebooks in AP Physics
Dr. Dell: Let me tell you the story of Susan Lee. In all her years in elementary school and middle school, she got straight A's. At Harvard, she got straight A's. At TJ, she got straight A's, except in my class. But she took away something very valuable -- her problem notebook. Word got around that she had this amazingly organized book of all the classic physics problems, and then random guys would go to her dorm to look at it.
Dr. Dell: So you see, your physics notebook can actually enhance your social life! -
#2692 + ()/147 - [ Report ]
Dr. Uston: So, class, which way would the water diffuse? Julie?
Julie: It would diffuse from the A side to the B side because there's more solute over there.
Dr. Uston: No, no. I want you to tell me the answer, not ask me a question! So, how would it diffuse?
Julie: It would diffuse from the A side to the B side because there's more solute over there.
Dr. Uston: Very good! -
#573 + ()/137 - [ Report ]
// 2004 tech class, learning to strip the rubber off of wires
Mr. Randall: I'm going to have to watch you all strip now... I mean strip wire.
*students glance at each other*
Mr. Randall: I'm going to watch you girls strip first, um, strip wire. Let's see how fast you can strip. -
#1570 + ()/129 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Potoker has gotten the wrong name for one of his new health students... again. It is still early in the quarter.
Mr. Potoker: Hey, guys, look. I get 180 new students evey quarter, and I have to learn all their names. You guys have to remember the names of what, 5, 6 friends? -
#2529 + ()/134 - [ Report ]
// Doing wave labs in physics; A, B, and C are students.
Mr. Forbes: Well, I know you've been having trouble getting a good refraction pattern on Lab 4, so I want to show you guys a really good one. Come and see [A,B, and C]'s wave tank!
*everyone crowds around*
Mr. Forbes: Mr. Rose! Come in and see this!
*Mr. Rose comes in*
A: Can we leave this up all week?
B: Yeah, this is the best we've done in physics all year!
C: I should have brought my camera.
Forbes: Tell you what...we can keep it up and take readings for 5 days--
Rose: --once an hour--
Forbes: --and track the index of refraction--
Rose: --and figure out a formula--
Forbes & Rose together: --to correlate index of refraction to evaporation rate!!
Class: *silence*
A: Eeeeew...
B: o_0
C: Physics teachers... *rolls eyes*
