TJbash.org

Top Quotes

• #609 + (+4)/10 - [ Report ]

  Markst0rm: TIERRA
  Markst0rm: FUEGO
  Markst0rm: VIENTO
  Markst0rm: AGUA
  Markst0rm: CORAZON
  Markst0rm: Por tus energias combinados, yo soy El Capian del Planeto!
  Markst0rm: *Capitan

• #549 + (+4)/18 - [ Report ]

  Druker: So there's a photo of a bunny on that wall. What's missing?
  Twizmer, Dtran, Car: PANCAKE!!!

• #534 + (+4)/12 - [ Report ]

  Latimer: I was in a rock and roll band, so I ruined my life.
  ...
  Latimer: I drummed without my shirt on.
  Keith: When I'm at home I drum without anything on...

  Tags: latimer

• #427 + (+4)/4 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing Olivier's King Lear in lit.
  
  Svantje:  I'm confused about, um, Goneril's cleavage...
  
  Rahul:  IT'S THE ABYSS!   

• #376 + (+4)/36 - [ Report ]

  // Cory is eating in Calc class
  Cory: There's not enough mushu for these pancakes!
  Mr. Torbert: I thought that was a figure of speech, but then I turned around and saw mushu and pancakes.

  Tags: torbert

• #351 + (+4)/12 - [ Report ]

  // During Anthro (gender studies):
  Ms. Gecan: I was once a skanky ho, but now I'm Venus of the Kitchen!

  Tags: gecan

• #344 + (+4)/10 - [ Report ]

  // In APCS
  'Teacher': What?! We're not playing cooperative? We're killing each other? AAAGH! You killed me!   

• #239 + (+4)/8 - [ Report ]

  sirquackingston: Desperation = A Rope Ends It
  sirquackingston: (anagrams are fun)
  thedantran: ...

• #154 + (+4)/8 - [ Report ]

  TheDarkFuzz: and if you told me to multiply them by i
  TheDarkFuzz: and put it all over infinity
  TheDarkFuzz: to the 0
  TheDarkFuzz: and then L'hospital it
  TheDarkFuzz: till I got pi
  TheDarkFuzz: I would
  Dareth8: Oh, well of course you're supposed to be doing that, haven't you been doing that all along?
  TheDarkFuzz: Shit.
  TheDarkFuzz: ...
  TheDarkFuzz: are you serious?

• #5644 + (+3)/57 - [ Report ]

  ‎// Dr. Sinick is trying to learn everyone's names
  Dr. Sinick: Tell me something distinctive about yourself, Josh.
  Josh: (While acting high) Uhh... I like to get high sometimes.
  Dr. Sinick: No, I want something distinctive. Something that is unique to you, not something everybody does.

  Tags: sinick

• #5534 + (+3)/27 - [ Report ]

  John: How do you know so many awesomely nerdy people?
  Zachary: I think everyone else is afraid of me.

  Tags: john_renner zachary_yaro

• #5431 + (+3)/9 - [ Report ]

  Forbes: I know electric potential is defined by the field, but...
  // Holds up a multimeter
  Forbes: You don't get any E-meters on here!
  Forbes: Oh, that's not right. It sounds like dianetics...

  Tags: forbes

• #5387 + (+3)/9 - [ Report ]

  // Dr. Castaldo was describing Devil In The White City
  Dr. Castaldo: There is something in here for everyone.  For the engineers among us and the...serial killers...among us.

  Tags: castaldo

• #4694 + (+3)/35 - [ Report ]

  Scholla: Ladies, when you grow up, you can say to a guy, 'You know, you're a real kilogram meter per second cubed.'

  Tags: physics scholla

• #4400 + (+3)/63 - [ Report ]

  Naavya: Wait so if macromolecules can make other macromolecules, aren't humans a macromolecule too?
  Ms. Rosenblum: No, cuz we're made up of different macromolecules.
  Alan: Awww, we could have been like macro-macromolecules.
  Ms. Rosenblum: Like a MacDADDYmolecule.

  Tags: rosenblum

• #4343 + (+3)/21 - [ Report ]

  // Some students haven't finished a cell-streaking lab
  Cobb: So here's a list of people who still need to finish the lab *reads a few names*
  Cobb: You guys will be our streakers.
  Class: !
  Cobb: *giggles* Ohoho, you all thought of that too?

  Tags: cobb

• #4277 + (+3)/9 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing the elastic clause
  Torrence: "You can drive a Mack truck through that!"  That's what Patrick Henry said.
  Torrence: Even though Mack trucks hadn't been invented yet...

  Tags: torrence

• #3395 + (+3)/27 - [ Report ]

  Amy: I was gonna say, well quit your day job, but then I realized this IS your day job.
  // Awkward pause
  Ms. Ulrey: ...Lincolnshire movement 4.

  Tags: amy_plunk ulrey

• #3304 + (+3)/27 - [ Report ]

  Mrs. Lewis: When in doubt, think dirty!

  Tags: english lewis

• #3019 + (+3)/19 - [ Report ]

  // completely out of the blue
  Mr. Lampazzi: Steve, do you do kung fu?

  Tags: lampazzi

• #2950 + (+3)/49 - [ Report ]

  // Some random girl walks into the syslab, holding a stuffed otter
  Girl: OH MY GOD! THE PRINTER CAN TALK! It was TALKING to me!!

  Tags: tj

• #2799 + (+3)/13 - [ Report ]

  A: Sorry (B), you don't get second chances in life.
  C: Instead you get babies.

• #2785 + (+3)/47 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. Billington while giving a lecture on linked lists
  Billington:  So, node0 gets head.  Then we create Node p!  Now p gets head!

  Tags: billington compsci

• #2715 + (+3)/21 - [ Report ]

  // On the bus
  Danny: Corpus Cavernosa
  Sam: That sounds like a Harry Potter spell!
  Danny: ... You do know what it is, right?
  Sam: Yeah, duh! *does little gesture with index finger* CORPUS CAVERNOSA! *does finger thing again*
  Danny: Dude, that'd be like magical Viagra!

• #2218 + (+3)/29 - [ Report ]

  A: *draws a flower with sharpies, and it actually looks half-decent*
  C: Whoa, you can draw with sharpies?
  A: YES! Yay for pretty, skinny sharpies!
  C: *looks at A funny*
  A: ...Not that I'm trying to imply anorexic sharpies are prettier than normal ones...

©2005-2015 Eric Harmon, Victor Mircea, Dan Tran, Nathan Watson.