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#641 + (+1)/11 - [ Report ]

Eli: You know you play FPS's too much when you dream about them. For example, I dreamt about CS1.1. I was a CT, and I had a USP and a MAC-10 at the start of the first round.
You know you play CS way too much when the first thing that you think after reading that is "CT's can't buy MAC's." That's what I thought.
God help me.
#631 + (+1)/27 - [ Report ]

// Dr. Wood, during an urban deer town meeting simulation.
"Anyone have experience hunting in Germany??"

Tags: wood
#535 + (+1)/17 - [ Report ]

// On the sustenance of potatoes
BRJ: ...they have no meat!
JB: That's right, they have no meat at all. In fact, they're PLANTS.
#474 + (+1)/9 - [ Report ]

Mr. Struck, 1999: "Mrs. Gullickson, would you like to smack Mr. Wells?"

Tags: gullickson struck wells
#468 + (+1)/7 - [ Report ]

Dr. Fornshell, 1999: "Today we will see a film. It is a black and white film of a man lecturing on physics. Hey, at least it's a talkie."

Tags: fornshell
#454 + (+1)/7 - [ Report ]

// About eBay
yomarklar: god why isn't there just a big box that says "SHIT I HAVE TO PAY FOR"
#348 + (+1)/23 - [ Report ]

duchess1777: ok
duchess1777: right that
duchess1777: *wright
duchess1777: wait...
duchess1777: rite
duchess1777: no
duchess1777: er...
#284 + (+1)/13 - [ Report ]

Arucard(00:13:59): mmm
Arucard(00:14:05): its a quarter after tommorow
#201 + (+1)/15 - [ Report ]

TheDanTran: I'm going to ask you to look at your c and . keys. Are they any shinier than the others?
twin of munin: period key, fuck yes.
twin of munin: like, there's shiny, and then there's "i've started wearing through the plastic" shiny
TheDanTran: O.o
#6006 + (0)/0 - [ Report ]

*Mr. Ero confiscates student's phone*
Mr. Ero: "When you're staring at your crotch and smiling, either one of two bad things are happening. And I can only confiscate one."

Tags: ero
#5988 + (0)/0 - [ Report ]

//Law & Society
Lily & Lauren:  So, if someone enters Mr. Zack's house without his permission, he is allowed to attack them with a baseball bat or with whatever means he sees necessary.
Mr. Zack:  I have a tank!
Lily & Laure:  In conclusion, don't enter Mr. Zack's house without his permission.  He's a lawyer.

Tags: zack
#5984 + (0)/0 - [ Report ]

//Question on Law & Society assignment is ambiguously worded; students ask or clarification
Mr. Zack: No, Mr. Williams is also in the yard with the dog. Mr. Williams is not on the chain with the dog. There isn't something kinky going on with the dog and Mr. Williams.

Tags: zack
#5983 + (0)/0 - [ Report ]

//Law & Society
Mr. Zack: Please form trios. You're going to do a tort trios assignment.
Mr. Zack: I say trios because I avoid saying "threesomes"...

Tags: zack
#5978 + (0)/4 - [ Report ]

Dr. Sinick: *blows nose*
Dr. Sinick: Gaah! I sounded like an elephant!
#5819 + (0)/22 - [ Report ]

// APUSH
Mr. Campbell: So the Federalist party died out after the Hartford Convention, leaving the Democratic Republican party. Then that party divided up into different sects...
Hanna: Wait, there was sex at a party?

Tags: apush campbell
#5597 + (0)/18 - [ Report ]

// During Counselor meeting
Student: Umm...should I apply for NHS?
Counselor: *quizzically* Why would you EVER want to do that??
#4475 + (0)/50 - [ Report ]

Stephen Seliskar: Oh my gosh! Guys guess what?! I found my missing For loop in the Rotating Cube Lab!
Arman Khojandi: *sarcastically* Oh great, we can take it off the milk carton.

Tags: arman_khojandi stephen_seliskar
#4342 + (0)/26 - [ Report ]

// Talking about how Catherine is a campaign candidate that steps on baby chickens
Kummer: Now imagine that I am an insanely rich businessman, and I am Catherine's biggest supporter. I support candidates that step on baby chickens. Why? Because that turns me on.

Tags: kummer
#4336 + (0)/8 - [ Report ]

Mrs. Colglazier: Better than having your clothes fall off...or maybe not. It might be more interesting... And there's X taking her clothes off...

Tags: colglazier
#4282 + (0)/26 - [ Report ]

Mrs. Chhabra: The next person to talk will develop a long tail and look like a donkey!

Tags: chhabra
#3820 + (0)/20 - [ Report ]

// During History Class
Helm: You can't get out of Texas, it expands... like Montana.

Tags: helm
#3686 + (0)/10 - [ Report ]

// Discussing obscenity in Gov
Teacher: I'm trying to imagine Fiona naked, and I'm finding it very difficult.

Tags: government
#3206 + (0)/34 - [ Report ]

// Messing around with puns...
1: Getting wrinkles out of your clothes is IRON-ic.
2: Changing your AIM Expression is ICON-ic.
Nicole: Eating a piece of cake is tasty.
3: ....No.
#3178 + (0)/26 - [ Report ]

Someone: What's that tom cruise movie where they're on goal line?
Shane: Titanic?
#2733 + (0)/18 - [ Report ]

Bobby Kogan: Are you thinking about Brandeis?
Daniel Epstein: No.
Bobby: Why not?
Daniel: I'm not that Jewish.

Tags: bobby_kogan daniel_epstein

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Top Quotes

#641 + (+1)/11 - [ Report ]

#631 + (+1)/27 - [ Report ]

#535 + (+1)/17 - [ Report ]

#474 + (+1)/9 - [ Report ]

#468 + (+1)/7 - [ Report ]

#454 + (+1)/7 - [ Report ]

#348 + (+1)/23 - [ Report ]

#284 + (+1)/13 - [ Report ]

#201 + (+1)/15 - [ Report ]

#6006 + (0)/0 - [ Report ]

#5988 + (0)/0 - [ Report ]

#5984 + (0)/0 - [ Report ]

#5983 + (0)/0 - [ Report ]

#5978 + (0)/4 - [ Report ]

#5819 + (0)/22 - [ Report ]

#5597 + (0)/18 - [ Report ]

#4475 + (0)/50 - [ Report ]

#4342 + (0)/26 - [ Report ]

#4336 + (0)/8 - [ Report ]

#4282 + (0)/26 - [ Report ]

#3820 + (0)/20 - [ Report ]

#3686 + (0)/10 - [ Report ]

#3206 + (0)/34 - [ Report ]

#3178 + (0)/26 - [ Report ]

#2733 + (0)/18 - [ Report ]