TJbash.org

Top Quotes

• #2492 + (−8)/40 - [ Report ]

  Michael: You can't tell me that infix is better than prefix notation! You don't need parentheses!
  Jacob: So you're saying that LISP doesn't need parentheses.

• #2491 + (−8)/28 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about singer Cher's idea to reduce global warming by using only one SHEET of toilet paper per shit.
  Brian continues: ...And she added to her plan "except for those 'pesky times' when you need 2-3 sheets."
  Patrick: Couldn't you just take a bunch of tiny shits and like, integrate?

• #2334 + (−8)/42 - [ Report ]

  *Someone puts on Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back on the TV*
  // Arvin, who has never seen Star Wars before, walks up and starts watching.
  Arvin: Oh, so THIS is Star Wars! Who's the Obi-Wan Kenobi guy? Wait, is that Dark Vather?

• #2192 + (−8)/24 - [ Report ]

  Tom: I'm fat.  I don't have to wear pants.

• #2136 + (−8)/12 - [ Report ]

  // In the car to ice-skating on the last day of school before break
  W: *Being weird*
  E: Don't you have a remote to control him or something, A?
  W: Yeah, but she forgot it at home.
  A: Well, he has a manual override in the back, but he's sitting on it.

• #1915 + (−8)/22 - [ Report ]

  Mrs. Connelly: Cosmo is my favorite magazine to look at while I'm waiting in the line at the grocery store.

  Tags: connelly

• #1889 + (−8)/14 - [ Report ]

  // In Philosophy class
  Matt: God doesn't have parts.

  Tags: philosophy

• #1867 + (−8)/16 - [ Report ]

  Sean: are you going to the party?
  Jamie: hellz yeah
  Sean: canz i getz a ride dawg?
  Jamie: sorry you'd be the second illegal
  Jamie: and my mom seems to think i shouldnt have any... pttb
  Sean: damnit!
  Sean: i'm a natural citizen!

  Tags: jamie_johnston sean_cruz

• #1721 + (−8)/10 - [ Report ]

  // Relating a conversation speaker 1 had with an old female friend
  Speaker 1: "There have been several occasions where I really needed ass. So I simply hang out with a male friend, pretty much any single male friend, and fulfill my need, haha..."
  Speaker 1: Man. I miss my old friends.
  Speaker 2: I miss your old friends too.   

• #1655 + (−8)/12 - [ Report ]

  // Coach is deciding when soccer practice will be during break
  Coach: And when I say its "optional" it means if you're around, you better be there. No excuses like "I was hanging out with my... cousin."
  Jordan: HAHA cousins? Who hangs out with their cousins? I mean, what about boyfriends?
  Coach: Jordan you said the "b" word... ON THE LINE   

• #1461 + (−8)/16 - [ Report ]

  D: I'm praying
  D: for a delay
  A: a delay would make my life, actually
  D: hahaha
  D: a cancellation would spontaneously impregnate my future wife

• #1406 + (−8)/22 - [ Report ]

  Dr. Kobrin (posted on blackboard.com): THE DUE DATES FOR THE MUSEUM EXHIBIT OPENING ARE CHANGED TO THURSDAY, FEB. 2 AND WEDNESDAY, FEB. 3.

  Tags: kobrin

• #1364 + (−8)/10 - [ Report ]

  // Mrs. Priem's health class
  Priem: Thanksgiving of course, was a holiday set aside to celebrate food.

  Tags: priem

• #1131 + (−8)/18 - [ Report ]

  /* Oldie but a goodie */
  // Kings of Chaos got a lot of Internet traffic, even back in 2003!
  TheMasterMind1: oofh
  TheMasterMind1: i think thats our log
  TheMasterMind1: i wouldn't be surprised
  cpujeff122: whoops
  cpujeff122: that might explain it
  TheMasterMind1: -rw-r----- 1 root chaos 2.0G Feb 1 18:09 kingsofchaos. com
  TheMasterMind1: oops
  cpujeff122: are you not rotating your logs?
  TheMasterMind1: time to log to /dev/null again

• #742 + (−8)/10 - [ Report ]

  eugene ('05):so i used to hear all the shit about chabra, and how much she sucked
  eugene: then, i met a god-honest punjabi-speaking indian college prof
  eugene: i still haven't recovered from 'what's that metal thing on your pants?'
  i thought they taught you all about d-rings in engineering class at the Indian Instute of Technomancy

• #647 + (−8)/12 - [ Report ]

  // While building rockets in Randall's tech class
  C: I love how random and easily amused our class is.
  
  A: Oooh look, this foamy stuff matches my sweater!!!!!!!!
  C: *gives look*
  A: What??   

• #566 + (−8)/10 - [ Report ]

  TheDanTran: I don't want to know what you do with your organs Deason
  SirQuackingston: *squish*

• #564 + (−8)/12 - [ Report ]

  A: Dirty minds think alike.

• #506 + (−8)/16 - [ Report ]

  B: I SHALL DEVOUR YOUR FLESH!!!
  K: ...
  B: I've got to stop doing that.

• #481 + (−8)/8 - [ Report ]

  // Tran is trying to make prom seem like it doesnt suck
  twizmer: so between tux,dinner, corsage, and gas
  twizmer: I'd say $250.
  TheDanTran: ...chump change.
  TheDanTran: er.            

• #349 + (−8)/8 - [ Report ]

  // In geometry class
  Lutes: If I keep pushing buttons I'll eventually get the right answer!   

• #307 + (−8)/8 - [ Report ]

  Myles: so why the hell are we holding this conversation if were both busy and afk
  Myles: technically, if were afk we shouldnt be able to hold this convo
  Myles: this convo is lacking purpose, a home, and a soul
  Myles: *shuts up*
  Myles: bye

• #269 + (−8)/8 - [ Report ]

  The Unknown 1M: Damn you spam!
  The Unknown 1M: It starts out so well too!
  The Unknown 1M: "Whats up? :) You have the advantage of me! :)"
  The Unknown 1M: I was like "what?!?!? HOT DAMN!"  

• #218 + (−8)/16 - [ Report ]

  sHARD>>: Hey Dan, wanna see a statement which will have you going O.o while I go "it's a long story don't ask?"
  sHARD>>: "(19:55:46) • +sHARD ponders what it must like have lesbian incest with your former g/f"
  Dan: what the fuckety fuck.

  Tags: dan_tran

• #28 + (−8)/30 - [ Report ]

  twinofmunin: i'll integrate you in the god-damn face

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