Top Quotes
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#4300 + ()/83 - [ Report ]
// In Chem, discussing Schrödinger's cat experiment.
Kauffman: *takes out finger puppet*
Kauffman: *high pitched voice* Hey kids, I'm Schrödinger's cat!
Kauffman: Now, is the cat alive or dead?
Kauffman: *high pitched voice* I'm alive, kids!
Kauffman: *chucks puppet at floor*
Kauffman: It's dead. -
#2710 + ()/83 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Struck is asking/teasing A about her date to Homecoming and refers to him as her boyfriend
A: We're not going out!
Mr. Struck: Oh, are you one of those girls who rips a boy's heart out of his chest, still beating, throws it on the sidewalk and stomps all over it while he watches?
Mr. Struck: I've dated lots of girls like that.
Mr. Struck: Thankfully, one of them married me, so I'm okay. -
#3766 + ()/88 - [ Report ]
// Doing a Christmas activity in Mr. Stueben's precalc that involves tearing a folded piece of paper.
Mr. Stueben: So you tear the paper like this. Girls, if you can't tear it, give it to a boy. Boys always have strong hands for some reason.
*Class laughs*
Mr. Stueben: I have no idea what you're laughing at. -
#3724 + ()/88 - [ Report ]
// Eating lunch in Mr. Williams's room. Mr. Williams overhears.
Student 1: Man, you've never had a chance with ANY chick.
Student 2: I've had plenty of chances with chicks.
Student 1: Yeah, and you blew them all.
Student 1: The chances, that is, not the chicks.
Mr. Williams: HAHAHAHA... wait, what? You can't blow chicks! -
#3289 + ()/86 - [ Report ]
Sra Pou: I calculated, and I found out that I'd make more money at McDonald's than here.
Class: !!!
Sra. Pou: And I'd get benefits! Free meals!
A: And you speak Spanish.
Sra Pou: Hey, you're right! Wait, that's racist... *pauses*
Sra Pou: Well then, I'd have a better chance of being a supervisor. -
#2412 + ()/82 - [ Report ]
A: ...Mr. Maney lost it in class the other day.
B *shocked*: He lost it?? Mr. Maney is like the happiest person ever!
A: No, no, I mean he lost it like he went crazy. He was just talking and all of the sudden he started calling us "my children" and saying how our grades were like little baby robins. That were going to die. -
#1115 + ()/90 - [ Report ]
// Persons A and B are walking down a crowded hallway
Person A: It's really crowded in this hallway.
Person B: We should apparate!
Person A: What's 'apparate'?
Person B: You're kidding, right? You don't know what 'apparate' is?
Person A: No...
Person B: How can you not know what 'apparate' is!
Person A: I'm not an SAT word freak like you! -
#4197 + ()/81 - [ Report ]
// During Mr. Kummer's attendance, he asked us to also state what state we'd like to visit during Spring Break
Palmer: I wanna go to Alaska and go moose hunting with Sarah Palin!
Kummer: Well...you gave me three things there...
Kummer: Alaska, which is great.
Kummer: Moose hunting, which I don't see myself doing...
Kummer: And Sarah Palin... which I don't see myself doing... -
#3221 + ()/83 - [ Report ]
// Talking about rising gas prices in AP Gov
Mr. Majeske: We haven't built any new refineries in the US in years, in fact we lost one in Katrina!
Student 1: How big are oil refineries?
Mr. Majeske: As big as my mother-in-law.
*class bursts into laughter*
Student 2: Mr. Majeske, I'm going to tell her you said that.
Mr. Majeske: You can't. She's dead.
*class is unsure what to do*
Mr. Majeske: *quietly* In two plots...
