TJbash.org

Top Quotes

• #5478 + (+74)/82 - [ Report ]

  Dr. Osborne: Let's say I want to run a nuclear power plant.  Not make bombs.  I am running a power plant.  Just like Iran.

  Tags: osborne physics

• #5219 + (+74)/74 - [ Report ]

  // After a particularly frustrating math problem
  Elizabeth: Gaaahh, I hate everything!
  Mr. Stueben: My work here is done.

  Tags: elizabeth_herbst math stueben

• #4650 + (+74)/76 - [ Report ]

  Sra. Pou: I took your son to his first cock fight in the Dominican Republic, as well as his first casino. He really likes to gamble.
  Mr. Struck: Why would he gamble at a cock fight? Isn't that what a casino is for?
  Sra. Pou: No... because... the people bet to see whichever cock is better...
  Mr. Struck: Ahh... *walks out, then hurries back*
  Mr. Struck: That's what she said.
  *Sra. Pou looks sad*

  Tags: pou struck

• #4539 + (+74)/76 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing the treatment of slaves
  Mr. Sleete: That's as absurd as believing in unicorns!
  Casey: Oh, I love unicorns!
  Mr. Sleete: I love unicorns too! They are delicious.

  Tags: sleete

• #4109 + (+74)/84 - [ Report ]

  // Summer chem, doing reactions
  Acio: What type of reaction is this?
  Student: It's a synthesis reaction.
  Other Student: No, you idiot, it's combustion!
  Class: Ooh, burned!

  Tags: chemistry

• #3774 + (+74)/76 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Pollet: I'm from New York. I don't believe in virgins.

  Tags: english pollet

• #2942 + (+74)/76 - [ Report ]

  Student: You misspelled Versailles.
  Mr. Struck: Who cares? It's French.

  Tags: struck

• #1797 + (+74)/90 - [ Report ]

  // Pointing at screen, soccer game is on
  Logan: Schafer, it's foosball! In real life!

  Tags: dan_schafer logan_kearsley

• #1747 + (+74)/80 - [ Report ]

  // TJ choir trip to Busch Gardens
  // Talking to Mr. Frels and his wife who are in front of us in line for Apollo's Chariot
  Mrs. Frels: He screams like a girl on roller coasters.
  Mr. Frels: I don't scream like a girl; I scream like a WOMAN!

  Tags: frels

• #1681 + (+74)/78 - [ Report ]

  // In Spanish, Señora Pou is complaining about her dress for her daughter's wedding
  Pou: I don't want to look old like a mom.
  Student: But you are a mom...
  Pou: I want to look like a sex goddess!

  Tags: pou

• #1333 + (+74)/78 - [ Report ]

  // Dr Uston's IBET Bio class:
  Uston: And so when a red bull and a white bull breed...
  // Class laughs
  Tanuja: How can two bulls breed?
  Uston: No, I said red bull and white cow.
  Class: No, you said white bull.
  Uston: Well I didn't mean to. It was just on my mind.

  Tags: biology uston

• #1309 + (+74)/74 - [ Report ]

  Clara Nguyen: The irony was so thick, I couldn't see it. I was pulling an all-nighter for a psych project about sleep deprivation.

  Tags: clara_nguyen psychology

• #1178 + (+74)/74 - [ Report ]

  // During a brief grammar lesson
  Mr. Williams: So technically, it should be "Everyone is going to eat sardines, and _he_or_she_ will be full," but that sounds retarded.  I mean, "developmentally disabled."

  Tags: english williams

• #787 + (+74)/82 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about the "wrong hole"
  Matt Becker: I once said wrong hole to my boyfrie...
  *everyone stops and stares*
  Matt Becker: I didn't mean that! I meant bo... I mean, man!

  Tags: matt_becker

• #5378 + (+73)/115 - [ Report ]

  // Precalc Class
  Dr. Stickler: Hunting rifle? That's for killing Bambi. Oh no. I have an assault rifle. It's for shooting idiot liberals that get on my lawn.

  Tags: stickler

• #5352 + (+73)/77 - [ Report ]

  Dr. Dell: How much time do we have left? Negative one minute? I can do this in negative one minutes!

  Tags: dell

• #4065 + (+73)/73 - [ Report ]

  // Physics class
  Mr. Rose: So I busted my knee running away from a soaking wet adolescent girl...
  // She'd been at Sponge Wars on J-Day, but that wasn't revealed until later
  Mr. Rose: ...and then I realized - I'm 61 years old.  Why was I running _away_?

  Tags: j_rose

• #3601 + (+73)/73 - [ Report ]

  Ms. Spoden: Do you all know what an armadillo looks like?  Well, an armadillo's back is actually full of tangent planes.  Baby tangent planes!
  Class: ...
  Ms. Spoden: I just ruined your next trip to the zoo.

  Tags: spoden

• #3383 + (+73)/75 - [ Report ]

  // Latin 3.  Note: Ms. Conklin was not being sarcastic.
  Ms. Conklin: *tries to say something. It comes out garbled. She tries again, and it garbles again*
  Ms. Conklin: I am retarded speaking ability.

  Tags: conklin

• #3203 + (+73)/75 - [ Report ]

  // In Spanish class
  Sra. Pou: You can either ver (look at) or leer (read) a magazine.
  Sra. Pou: Depending on what type of magazine.

  Tags: pou spanish

• #3106 + (+73)/75 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Kummer: Mr. Torrence, what languages do you speak?
  Mr. Torrence: French, Russian, a bit of Italian, German... and ebonics.

  Tags: kummer torrence

• #3092 + (+73)/87 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. McFaden's IBET Bio, learning about DNA replication
  McFaden: Here's a carbon *points to drawing* There's a carbon *points to drawing again*
  Class: And another little carbon
        fuzzy carbon, funny carbon,
        carbon, carbon, gold!

  Tags: mcfaden

• #2525 + (+73)/79 - [ Report ]

  // During a FLE discussion with Ms. Stevens
  Stevens: Yeah, I hate this diagram because the penis is circumcised and you aren't born that way.  So I am going to draw my penis on the board.
  Students: *giggle*
  Stevens: What?

  Tags: fle stevens

• #1340 + (+73)/75 - [ Report ]

  // Talking about an assignment where you have to describe someone in "Chaucerian".
  Ethan: Can we use celebrities, like Jessica Alba?
  Mr. Richardson: Only if you include a picture.
  Marina: Do you even KNOW Jessica Alba, Mr. Richardson?
  Mr. Richardson: Of course. Why else would I ask for a picture?

  Tags: richardson

• #1215 + (+73)/73 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Williams: Vacation is like sex: even when it's bad, it's good.

  Tags: williams

©2005-2015 Eric Harmon, Victor Mircea, Dan Tran, Nathan Watson.