Top Quotes
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#1184 + ()/75 - [ Report ]
// In Mr. LaFever's classroom, the class is gathered around a piece of paper with a mnemonic device for remembering the color codes for resistors, "Bad Boys Ravish Only Young Girls But Violet Gives Willingly."
Mr. LaFever: Hey, what is everybody reading?
Mr. LaFever: Bad Boys Ravish Only Young Girls But... (trails off)
Mr. LaFever: OH
*crumples paper quickly and throws it across the room to the trash* -
#1072 + ()/93 - [ Report ]
// Y and Z are walking to Y's car
Y: Ok, let's just put this stuff in my trunk.
// Y opens trunk of car, which is filled with all sorts of clutter and stuff.
Z: Whatcha gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk?
Y: I'm gonna throw it at people that sing that song.
Z: Oh. -
#254 + ()/79 - [ Report ]
// In English class while talking about whether everything is art or not and using a wide roll of masking tape as an example
Suzanne: Anything could be considered art, but to be art that thing has to inspire emotion. If someone had a traumatic experience where they were tied up in tape, the tape might inspire emotions in that person, so it would be art to them.
// Mr. Richardson holds the roll of tape towards Suzanne
Mr. Richardson: So this roll of tape would be art if I smashed it into your face? -
#957 + ()/84 - [ Report ]
// During MUN in-house Nuclear Power Round, only the USA, Hungary, Sweden, and the Moon remain
Hungary: ... and we send the flying deer to soar over the USA and rain disease on all their citizens.
USA: Too bad for you, we just annexed Canada, which while adding nothing at all to our overall military readiness provided us with a safe haven from your death-bringing deer. We call upon our army of sharks with frickin' 'lasers' to destroy Hungary from the sea, and annex Alpha Centauri.
Moon: Due to the fact that Santa lives on the moon, all of the flying deer come home to us and Hungary is no more.
Hungary: What?!? You can't do that!
Chair: Yes, they can, but Santa Claus is now dead, so no more of that.
Moon: Santa Claus can't die!!
Chair: Well, I just killed him.
USA/Canada: We now ally ourselves with Optimus Prime and the Transformers to destroy the moon and all of Western Europe.
Sweden: We erect a shield around ourselves to protect ourselves from Canada, and nuke the entirety of Northern America!
Canada/Alpha Centauri: We annex Couruscant and use our fleet of nuclear Star Destroyers to systemically rid the Earth of all life.
Chair: Alpha Centauri wins. That was amazing. -
#4676 + ()/75 - [ Report ]
// Discussing stoichiometry shortcut
Dr. Acio: There are five steps. The first step is formula writing, so if you haven't memorized your polyatomic ions yet, you get to step one and you're already screwed. By the last step you'll be owned. And I'll just be going through your test looking at all the ones you got wrong, saying "Owned. Owned. Owned." -
#3902 + ()/73 - [ Report ]
// Student takes Mr. Billington's picture on BlackBoard and uses it as a desktop background. Billington happens to notice his picture on the student's desktop.
Billington: Well... what's this?
Student: It's your photo, Mr. Billington. You look very handsome in there.
Billington: Well! Isn't that nice! -
#3256 + ()/81 - [ Report ]
// Watching a movie about Stalin
Movie: He decided to go by Stalin - Man of Steel.
Mr. Sacks: That's what I want to go by. Man of Steel. Hey, what's Man of Steel in Spanish?
Student: We don't learn anything useful in Spanish.
// Mr. Sacks leaves class
// Later
Mr. Sacks: *stops movie* Okay class, it's 'hombre de acero.' All together: hombre de acero. That's what you call me when I start doing my pushups. -
#2945 + ()/77 - [ Report ]
// Student searches through many papers, looking for homework.
Student: Mr. Stueben, I found my homework!
Mr. Stueben: I'm sorry, but you're too late.
Mr. Stueben: You know, there's an important lesson here.
Student: Get organized?
Mr. Stueben: No, the lesson is the teacher is mean.
Mr. Stueben: Maybe get organized a little, but mostly the teacher is mean.
