Top Quotes
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#5737 + ()/70 - [ Report ]
// In an introduction to Hamlet
Mr. Green: Okay, now imagine that your father has just died --
Class: *gasp*
Mr. Green: -- and your uncle's marrying your mom --
Class: *gasp*
Mr. Green: -- and you won't go to college --
Class: *gasp*
Mr. Green: -- and you won't have internet --
Class: WHAT??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Mr. Green: ...you barely gasped when I told you your dad died, but you just can't live without the internet? -
#1548 + ()/74 - [ Report ]
// In FrosnSun's AIM profile
girls can be described 3 ways:
beautiful
single
mentally stable
unfortunately, only a max of 2 of the characteristics can be present at one time
it has been pointed out that it is possible for all three traits to be present, but as newton has taught us, infitesimally small increments of time can be rounded to zero and ignored -
#1534 + ()/84 - [ Report ]
// The Mr. Rose loop?
Mr. Rose: Why isn't it looping?
Brian: Well I-
Mr. Rose: Run it again.
*brian runs it*
Mr. Rose: Why isn't it looping?
Brian: I think its-
Mr. Rose: Run it again
*brian runs it*
Mr. Rose: Why isn't it looping?
Brian: My Syste-
Mr. Rose: Run it again
*brian runs it*
Mr. Rose: Why isn't it looping?
Mr. Rose: It would be much better if it looped, wouldn't it?
*Mr. Rose makes a X on Brian's yellow sheet*
*Brian takes out System. exit(0) from his code*
Brian: Mr. Rose, it works now
Mr. Rose: Wonderful!
Mr. Rose: Now your iterations are messed up!
*brian groans* -
#3572 + ()/71 - [ Report ]
// While in Street Law, the class is doing an exercise that involves the law "no vehicles allowed in the park"
// One case involves electronic wheelchairs used by the disabled, which do fit under the definition of vehicle
Mr. Zack: All right, so who thinks the wheelchairs are in defiance of the law?
// Several students raise their hands
Mr. Zack: You heartless bastards... -
#689 + ()/71 - [ Report ]
// About James Madison (who was about 5' 2") (hence, "Little Jimmy") and the constitutional convention
Mr. Kummer: So Little Jimmy was like the TJ perfectionist student. He took really long, detailed, comprehensive notes which he reviewed every morning outside the convention room. Naturally, this was silly of him but nonetheless good for us.
However, Little Jimmy apparently had a really hot wife, and whenever they held parties, Little Jimmy would go upstairs at like 8:00, sit in his bed, and read a book. Meanwhile, Dolly stayed downstairs all night and was apparently the life of the party. Nobody knows what exactly she was doing because Little Jimmy wasn't there to take notes. -
#4158 + ()/68 - [ Report ]
// In Summer chem during the electrochem unit, Acio makes a comparison of a voltaic cell to rubbing wool socks on the carpet. DJ raises his hand.
DJ: So does some chemical reaction happen in your body when you do that?
*Acio stares for a minute*
Acio: *sarcastically* Yes...your sperm count goes down.
Acio: And now all of you guys will beg your parents to get hardwood floors.
