Top Quotes
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#1779 + ()/79 - [ Report ]
Senior: Freshmen are always so stupid! Like, once at the beginning of the year, I was walking down the hall and I heard a freshman say, 'Hey, I think you're in my English class,' and the second freshman said, 'Yeah, I am.' Then the first freshman said, 'Oh, me too!' and I was like 'ohhh my god...'
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#5493 + ()/68 - [ Report ]
Mr. Zack: You know, there's a whole industry for graduation-related items, like announcements and prom and stuff. Guys, just pick flowers out of the yard or something. And for God's sake, don't rent a tux.
Marta: Who did you go with to prom, Mr. Zack?
Steven: He went with your mother.
Mr. Zack: Steven, I still hold your diploma in my hands.
*pause*
Mr. Zack: And she had a great time, by the way. -
#2775 + ()/68 - [ Report ]
// Doing the centripetal force demo (swinging a small platform by strings, an object is held on the platform)
Mr. Rose: Now I'm going to do this with a cup of water.
Class: Can you really do that?
Mr. Rose: *starts swinging* Sure, my hand-eye coordination is--
// Cup flies off the platform and at a student, spilling the water everywhere. -
#2234 + ()/80 - [ Report ]
// AP Biology
Dr. Uston: So, I heard of this story once, where a man and a woman were raising a chimp. After a number of years, the government forced them to put him in the zoo, because he wasn't allowed in their home. One day, when the chimp's birthday came around, the man brought the chimp a cake, and he was mauled by the other monkeys in the cage. Isn't that fascinating? -
#1669 + ()/66 - [ Report ]
// You learn many life lessons in history class...
Mr. Helm: No, Patrick, you never make your wife do ANYTHING, because at 2 a. m., she's the one lying next to you, her hands poised to smush a pillow over your face. And when that happens, you die. So no, you should never make your wife do anything.
