TJbash.org

Top Quotes

• #5657 + (+61)/63 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. McFaden is explaining something about FLE
  Student: OH GOD!
  Mr. McFaden: Why does he keep calling me that?

  Tags: mcfaden

• #4899 + (+61)/63 - [ Report ]

  // HUM I English
  Class: Mr. Williams! Can you sponsor our class!
  Mr Williams: Oh God, no! I have enough trouble with the debate team.  I mean, I like the debate team, but being a sponsor is very labor-intensive, so I wouldn't want to be the sophomore class sponsor.  I'd rather slit my wrists and give birth to a chair first.

  Tags: english williams

• #4376 + (+61)/61 - [ Report ]

  // Class is discussing last night's journal entry on how to deal with confrontations
  Ms. Iorga: So for example, what would you do if someone made a racist comment about your race?
  *class answers with counselor approved, appropriate messages*
  Ms. Iorga: Really? I'd probably just beat them up. Punch them and hit them really hard.
  Class: WHAAAT?
  Ms. Iorga: Racism just makes me really angry.

  Tags: iorga

• #4012 + (+61)/65 - [ Report ]

  // Coach Ron telling rowers to go to the TJ food tent at a regatta before a race.
  Ron: Stay hydrated, stay hydrated, stay hydrated.
  Ron: Oh, and stay away from the boys.
  Girls Team: ...what?
  Ron: Oh I know the games you play. *high pitched giggle* Come on guys!  Let's play grab-ass!  Teehee!
  Ron: AWAY FROM THE BOYS. Now go eat.

  Tags: crew

• #3852 + (+61)/67 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing Mr. Sack's trip to the zoo during HUM
  Mr. Sacks: I don't get it.  Every once in a while we get lion cubs, or tiger cubs...but never baby pandas.  I think China's trying to get back at us by sending us gay pandas.

  Tags: history sacks

• #3669 + (+61)/69 - [ Report ]

  // In APUSH with Mr. Sleete
  Student: Mr. Struck- oh, I mean...
  Mr. Sleete: Oh god! Not Struck! You can call me Satan for all I care but not STRUCK!

  Tags: apush sleete struck

• #3651 + (+61)/73 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing Logan's girlfriend
  Someone: Wow, this is actually like a normal high school conversation.
  David Ensey: Quick, somebody interject a cosine!

  Tags: david_ensey logan_buckley

• #3504 + (+61)/61 - [ Report ]

  // In Mr. Struck's US/VA history class talking about indentured labor (headrights) being the basis for plantations later in history.
  // Mr. Kummer is watching the lecture from the side
  Struck: See, they had indentured labor, where they worked for no pay.
  Struck: Sound familiar?
  Kummer: Are you talking about us?

  Tags: history kummer struck

• #2865 + (+61)/65 - [ Report ]

  // A little off topic in HUM...
  Ms. Glatter: I lost so much weight from all the Japanese food!
  Andy: Isn't that a good thing for you? Uh, I mean...
  Denis: Your GPA just dropped, Andy.

  Tags: glatter

• #2620 + (+61)/67 - [ Report ]

  D: If I ever have a kid, I'll name him Electricity... that way I can say "You're grounded!"

• #2202 + (+61)/67 - [ Report ]

  Atul: How long should our papers be?
  Mrs. MacLean: Well, you're writing about Hamlet, and you're doing a very thorough analysis. I want you to include quotes and I want to see you really develop your thesis.
  Atul: So, like a page double-spaced?

  Tags: english maclean

• #1788 + (+61)/63 - [ Report ]

  Sean: Yeah, we were watching a movie in HUM about the Algonquins and the Iroquois, and Mr. McCarthy covered up the sex scenes with a blanket.
  Ms. Orenstein: That sucks.

  Tags: mccarthy orenstein sean_cruz

• #1674 + (+61)/61 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Helm: And that brings us to the year 1952! And you know what's exciting about the year 1952?
  *class stares*
  Mr. Helm: Only 60 more years until the end of the course!
  Student: Doesn't that take us into the future?
  Mr. Helm: Yeah well, we'll get as far as we can.

  Tags: helm history

• #1582 + (+61)/65 - [ Report ]

  // Ms. Conklin scrunches up her face in disgust at the computer screen
  Student: What's wrong?
  Ms. Conklin: I got an e-mail where someone called me "Mrs."
  Ms. Conklin: I'm not married, nor will I EVER be again... unless someone has a lot of money...

  Tags: conklin

• #1150 + (+61)/71 - [ Report ]

  Mr. Sacks: Girls, to guys /everything/ is sexual. When they're walking down the hall discussing the stats of the latest Redskins game, that's SEXUAL cause they're thinking "Maybe a girl will hear my impressive knowledge of football and want to have sex with me..."

  Tags: sacks

• #1132 + (+61)/61 - [ Report ]

  // Person walks up to Kyle and Jaskot talking, comes into conversation
  Jaskot: I myself prefer C's.
  Kyle: I prefer D's, and I've actually done two at the same time.
  Person: If I didn't know you guys were talking about rocket engines, that would have been weird.

• #299 + (+61)/61 - [ Report ]

  Ms. Schmid: What do you think are some of the reasons for variations in sea level? *calls on someone in the back of the room*
  Someone: Ummmm... I wrote down Godzilla.
  Ms. Schmid: Okay, Godzilla.
  Alice Ohlson: That is... pending existence.       

• #69 + (+61)/63 - [ Report ]

  // Jack Breese and Nathan Watson sitting at computers next to each other
  Nathan: What's the address to that site?
  Jack: Here... *highlights text and presses Ctrl-C*
  Jack: Wait...
  Nathan: Were you attempting to copy/paste that from your computer on to mine?
  Jack: ...
  Jack: No.
  Nathan: You thought about it, didn't you?

  Tags: jack_breese nathan_watson

• #5149 + (+60)/70 - [ Report ]

  // Discussing reincarnation in HUM 1 English
  Williams: So if you were good in life, you turn into Taylor Swift.  If you were bad, you turn into Lindsay Lohan.

  Tags: williams

• #5033 + (+60)/60 - [ Report ]

  Majeske: Today, in my morning class, five sophomores were absent, five emailed, and five made up tests during lunch, while three seniors were absent, zero emailed me, and zero made it up.
  Majeske: Does something terrible happen between sophomore and senior year?

  Tags: goverment majeske

• #4750 + (+60)/66 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. Forbes is introducing the Van de Graaff generator to AP Physics
  Forbes: This has a hundred-thousand volts running through it.  It will kill you, but for me, it equates to slight sexual pleasure.

  Tags: forbes physics

• #3805 + (+60)/76 - [ Report ]

  // Dr. Dell is exasperated because several members of the class are working on laptops and paying no attention.
  Dr. Dell: You know what I want to do? On the very last day of school, I'm going to invite everyone to bring their laptops in. And then I'm going to drink four gallons of water and URINATE ALL OVER ALL OF THEM.

  Tags: dell

• #3685 + (+60)/64 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. Torrence is having trouble with his smartboard.
  Mr. T: But I don't want to just touch it there!  I want to be able to touch it all over!
  *bursts into song* "Oh baby, touch me in the morning!..."

  Tags: torrence

• #3113 + (+60)/64 - [ Report ]

  Dr. Wood: My sister once told me she wanted to have kids with blue eyes, even though both she and her husband had brown eyes, so I told her she should talk to the milk man.
  Class: ...
  Dr. Wood: It's an FLE thing.

  Tags: fle wood

• #3107 + (+60)/66 - [ Report ]

  // Mr. Struck does an activity called "Meeting of the Minds"
  Mr. Kummer: So, in an effort to distance ourselves from Mr. Struck, we shall call this activity "You Are There."
  // Enter Mr. Torrence, sees instructions on board
  Mr. Torrence: Ahh, doing a Meeting of the Minds?

  Tags: kummer struck torrence

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