Top Quotes
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#1476 + ()/60 - [ Report ]
// In Compsci, while using the Internet to look at how labs were supposed to work
Mr. Torbert: Wait, whoa, how do I go back to the previous lab?
Someone: Why don't you use the back button?
Mr. Torbert: *clicks the back button* Whoa, I've never used the back button. It goes back to the previous lab.
Class: *scared and laughing at the same time* -
#952 + ()/74 - [ Report ]
// After explaining to the students how microwave oven works, Dr. Acio then told the students a story related to microwave oven
Dr. Acio: The very first time microwave ovens were marketed, some people did not understand how deadly these ovens could be, if misused. Let me give you an example. In the early 80s, a Kansas farmer bought his wife a microwave oven. The wife just enjoyed having one since it made things easy for her preparing meals. The farmer and his wife had a 7-year old son and the boy was very observant and curious when it comes to what his mom would do around the house. The boy at that time had a small dog. Everytime the mom gave the dog a bath, the mom would dry the dog with a hair dryer. One time, after the mother gave the dog a bath, the boy played with the dog and the dog got into a puddle of mud. Afraid of being punished, the boy quickly picked up the dog and gave the dog a bath. After giving the dog a bath, the boy had to quickly dry the dog's fur. Knowing that it would take too long to dry the dog's fur with a hair dryer, and knowing that it only takes 2-3 minutes for his mom to heat up a meal (remember the boy was very observant), the boy shoved the small dog in the microwave and set it for 4 minutes. Needless to say, the dog died due to internal injuries.
Student: Dr. Acio, that's terrible.
Dr. Acio: Well, now we know were the word 'hotdog' came from. -
#5550 + ()/59 - [ Report ]
// First day of physics, about to go through role call:
Mr. Forbes: I'm really bad with remembering names. Once, on a third date, when she went to the bathroom, I had to go through her purse and wallet to look at her driver's license. You can only get so far with "hey babe!" and "darling"... -
#4867 + ()/57 - [ Report ]
// Using a peach, a plum, and a nectarine to explain resonance
Dr. Jones: A nectarine does not switch between a peach and a plum! It does not go peach-plum-peach-plum! It does not flash like a sign to a strip club!
*class perks up*
Dr. Jones: *realizing what she said, looks shocked* -
#4866 + ()/61 - [ Report ]
// During the Shakespeare Festival
Actor: Now, what was the first thing you associate with Shakespeare, like before you were familiar with his plays or anything?
Luke: Sex!
Actor: Yes, SEX! There's a lot of that in Shakespeare! Whenever you're reading one of his plays, if you're ever like, "Does this mean what I think does?", the answer is yes, it does. -
#3628 + ()/63 - [ Report ]
//Acio Chem, Dr. Acio is explaining variably charged metal ions.
Dr. Acio: Tin (II) is called stannous, tin (III) is called stannic. Don't do what one kid did and say it's "satanic chloride." It ain't satanic, it's stannic.
A: *mutters* No, there's only one satanic thing in this room and it writes tests.
