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#1212 + ( )/176 - [ Report ]
Mr. Kummer: Americans are fascinated with numbers. The media takes advantage of this. You can't look at a magazine without seeing numbers.
-A student pulls out a copy of Cosmopolitan and hands it to Mr. Kummer, who proceeds to point out examples of numbers in the media, including "50 Ways To Please Your Boyfriend"-
Mr. Kummer: I'll read my horoscope for January. Is anyone else a Cancer? 'The scintillating sex leaves you panting.' -He pauses.-
Student: Is that accurate, Mr. Kummer?
Mr. Kummer: I don't know, January just started. I'll keep you posted. -
#1146 + ( )/251 - [ Report ]
// 8:45 AM
Anita: I have a pass! I have a pass! I have a pass!
Mr. Kummer: Anita, what are you doing in here?
Anita: Oh crap, it's not an anchor day?
Mr. Kummer: No.
Anita: So this is 5th period?
Mr. Kummer: Yeah.
Anita: Ugh. Okay, bye then, Mr. Kummer!
Mr. Kummer: Bye, Anita.
Mr. Kummer: ... and there's the head of your class government in action. -
#756 + ( )/23 - [ Report ]
// During one of Mr. Kummer's stories
Mr. Kummer: Well, it was in the afternoon, and I walked into one of my 'watering holes,' and...
Student: Watering holes? You mean like starbucks?
Mr. Kummer: Um...no.
Someone else: Wait...in the afternoon, like during school?
// Later that class...
Mr. Kummer: Children, it's perfectly possible to sit in your favorite tavern, drink a beer, and not get drunk.
Someone: Any time?
Mr. Kummer: Yes, any time, even in the afternoon. -
#696 + ( )/172 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Struck thinks he is having a heart attack
Student: Mr. Kummer, come quick! I think Mr. Struck has passed out!
// Mr. Kummer enters Mr. Struck's classroom. Mr. Struck is laying back on his chair
Mr. Struck: Now I know I'm dead... *looks at Mr. Kummer* I'm in hell.
// Admin note: Quote correction submitted by Mr. Struck himself... -
#689 + ( )/71 - [ Report ]
// About James Madison (who was about 5' 2") (hence, "Little Jimmy") and the constitutional convention
Mr. Kummer: So Little Jimmy was like the TJ perfectionist student. He took really long, detailed, comprehensive notes which he reviewed every morning outside the convention room. Naturally, this was silly of him but nonetheless good for us.
However, Little Jimmy apparently had a really hot wife, and whenever they held parties, Little Jimmy would go upstairs at like 8:00, sit in his bed, and read a book. Meanwhile, Dolly stayed downstairs all night and was apparently the life of the party. Nobody knows what exactly she was doing because Little Jimmy wasn't there to take notes.