Search Results
-
#5989 + ( )/16 - [ Report ]
//discussing teachers suing students
Mr. Zack: I probably shouldn't tell you this, but...
Mr. Zack: I REALLY shouldn't tell you this, but...
Mr. Zack: Students... are allowed to sue their teachers.
*class perks up*
Mr. Zack: Don't even think-
Mr. Zack: DO not even THINK about it.
Mr. Zack: I have a good attorney. I know all of the judges in the district. I'm friends with most of them. I will beat you. I will CRUSH YOU. And I will FLICK YOU OFF.
Mr. Zack: *looks around intimidatingly*
*later in the semester...*
Student: *is a klutz and trips over Mr. Zack's foot, falling flat on his face on the ground*
Entire class: SUE! SUE! SUE! SUE! SUE! -
#5988 + ( )/0 - [ Report ]
//Law & Society
Lily & Lauren: So, if someone enters Mr. Zack's house without his permission, he is allowed to attack them with a baseball bat or with whatever means he sees necessary.
Mr. Zack: I have a tank!
Lily & Laure: In conclusion, don't enter Mr. Zack's house without his permission. He's a lawyer. -
#5980 + ( )/10 - [ Report ]
//In AP Gov
//Mr. Zack asks us to describe our first experience with government
One student: My parents were watching the Clinton-Lewinsky affair on TV, and I asked what was going on, but they didn't want to tell me, so the way they explained it was that instead of doing his job, the president was "playing with his toys". -
#5863 + ( )/24 - [ Report ]
// In Gov, Mr. Zack handed out a sheet on the difference between democrats and republicans
The last line on the paper: A republican boy dates a democratic girl. He plans on marrying a republican girl, but feels entitled to a little fun first.
Mr. Zack: I'm going to hear about that one on back-to-school night.... -
#5493 + ( )/68 - [ Report ]
Mr. Zack: You know, there's a whole industry for graduation-related items, like announcements and prom and stuff. Guys, just pick flowers out of the yard or something. And for God's sake, don't rent a tux.
Marta: Who did you go with to prom, Mr. Zack?
Steven: He went with your mother.
Mr. Zack: Steven, I still hold your diploma in my hands.
*pause*
Mr. Zack: And she had a great time, by the way. -
#4610 + ( )/42 - [ Report ]
// Discussing literature, Mr. Zack is puttering around somewhere in the back of the classroom.
Mrs. Maclean: Yes! I shoved my copy of Moby Dick into the incinerator of my dormitory in college!
Lexie: I ripped up a copy of As The Future Catches You!
Jeremy: I participated in a burning of the APUS textbook!
Mr. Zack: Jeremy, you're going to HELL. -
#3572 + ( )/71 - [ Report ]
// While in Street Law, the class is doing an exercise that involves the law "no vehicles allowed in the park"
// One case involves electronic wheelchairs used by the disabled, which do fit under the definition of vehicle
Mr. Zack: All right, so who thinks the wheelchairs are in defiance of the law?
// Several students raise their hands
Mr. Zack: You heartless bastards... -
#3209 + ( )/54 - [ Report ]
// In AP Gov, Mr. Zack is telling the story of why the Department of Labor building is the Frances Perkins building...
Mr. Zack: Frances Perkins was the first female head of the Department of Labor under Franklin Roosevelt, and she served for 13 years. So in a way you could say that Frances was in labor for 13 years...
Erin: Mr. Zack, did you tell us that story just so you could make that joke?
Mr. Zack: Yeah, pretty much. -
#2931 + ( )/38 - [ Report ]
// Going over an AP Gov test
Mr. Zack: I was really disappointed on this one, guys. I only asked for 8 departments, and we went over all 15 in class.
Mr. Zack: Most of you got State Department, Treasury Department, Defense, and Justice, but the rest of the answers were...interesting.
Mr. Zack: *glares at class* Who can name the rest?
// After a few tries:
Some Student: Um, Department of...Foreign Affairs?
Mr. Zack: No, there is NO Department of Foreign Affairs! That's the State Department's job!
Mr. Zack: ...Though Bill Clinton _wanted_ to create a Department of Foreign /Affairs/....
Class: *laughs*
Another Student: Wait, so then...the Department of _Veteran_ Affairs...?
Class: EEEEEEWWWWW!!!!! -
#2836 + ( )/173 - [ Report ]
// Handing out those federal tax forms before class
Student: Why do we have to fill these things out again?
Mr. Zack: Well, basically, since military and government properties don't have to pay property taxes on their land...
*LONG explanation, with lots of interruptions*
Mr. Zack: ...So if your parents work for the government or the military, you have to fill out the form and--
Other Student: So basically they want more money?
Mr. Zack: *sighs* Yes, it's very important that we get more funding for the school system, and--
Bobby: But what if I don't _want_ the school system to get more money? What if--
Mr. Zack: I want my RAISE, damnit! FILL OUT THE DAMN FORM! -
#2040 + ( )/48 - [ Report ]
Mr. Zack: If you're gonna try to kill someone, just shoot them. It's really hard to stab someone to death. You have to keep stabbing them a lot of times.
Ayman: What if you stab someone in the forehead?
Mr. Zack: You try stabbing yourself with a knife in the forehead! I mean...wait...not you...well, just trust me. It's hard to stab someone to death.