Top Quotes
-
#3668 + ( )/218 - [ Report ]
// In AP Biology, Dr. Uston is typing up a "pop" quiz for the class. The projector, however, is on and the class sees the quiz as it is being written.
Class: *silently and furiously flips through biology book for the answers*
Dr. Uston: Okay! Here's a pop quiz!
Dr. Uston: *turns around*
Dr. Uston: Oh my... -
#3533 + ( )/220 - [ Report ]
Carl: there's this girl at work who is pretty hot
Dave: oh really?
Carl: yeah, but ive found it really hard to initiate anything
Dave: you need to get in there before someone else does
Carl: well the other day i thought i better man up and do something, i wasn't just gonna let this one slip by, she seems like a really nice girl, so i plucked up the courage and made my move
Dave: and?
Carl: She hasn't poked back yet -
#1770 + ( )/236 - [ Report ]
Mr. Frels: Right now, you guys sound like...
*glances nervously at door*
You sound like...
*glances at door again*
Hold on a second.
*closes door*
*door stays partly open*
You sound like...
*notices that door is open*
*fully shuts door*
...You sound like shit. Excuse my language. -
#3857 + ( )/213 - [ Report ]
// Mr. Blackwell is subbing for Mr. Williams, calling roll.
Mr. Blackwell: You see, I have perfect attendance for my classes, because when people don't show up, we get to spread rumors about them. Is Meghan here?
Meghan: Here.
Mr. Blackwell: Margaret? Margaret?
Student: Nope.
Mr. Blackwell: She must have ditched to "have fun" with her boyfriend. What guys are missing today?
Student: Mr. Williams.
Class: O.o -
#2661 + ( )/213 - [ Report ]
// In the band room, talking about what we're going to do because of the rain
Ms. Ulrey: How about this . . . take off your uniforms, we'll go in street clothes, but keep the white puffy-paint shirts on.
Kevin: *raises hand* Ms. Ulrey, for the girls sake, it's a white shirt, and it's raining.
Schwank: You're not supposed to tell her that! -
#3630 + ( )/210 - [ Report ]
// During USVA HUM with Mr. Struck
// Talking about reading the morning paper and how Mr. Struck doesn't read the horoscopes
Struck: I don't believe in horoscopes...
Kummer: Mine said I'd have a surge of happy things in the next 3 days...
Kummer: It's 10:42 and I'm still waiting...
*Collin Hennegan gets up and gives Mr. Kummer a hug*
Kummer: I appreciate that...but I was expecting more...
Struck: Uh...Mr. Kummer, he's underage... -
#3265 + ( )/222 - [ Report ]
// During Word of the Day in English
Erin: My word is "masticate", which means to chew. I picked it because I like the way it sounds.
Ms. Bello: Does anyone want to use the word in a sentence?
Erin: I masticate every day.
Tim: I masticate 3 or 4 times per day. I even masticate with my friends.
Bello: Good job, guys.
Tim: Would you like to masticate with me, Logan?
Logan: *laughing too hard to answer*
Erin: Do you think you masticate too much, Tim?
Tim: There's no such thing as too much mastication. -
#2676 + ( )/212 - [ Report ]
//First day of HUM 1, Mr. Williams is going around the class asking people what distinguishes them from everyone else
Mr. Williams: So Asha, what's special about you?
Asha: I don't know...
Mr. Williams: Okay, say Asha was really happy one day. So she's so jolly that she runs out of school and skips across Braddock Road. At the same time, Katherine is driving down Braddock Road and sees Asha skipping across. She thinks, "Oh Asha, that bitch! I hate her!" and runs her over. Asha, what would people say about you at your funeral? -
#5365 + ( )/203 - [ Report ]
// Highlights for the TJ-Marshall Game of the Week are being shown on CBS, a game that got 23,000 votes on the website, the second most in Game of the Week history
Anchor: You might wonder how that happens between a 2-11 team and a 4-8 team. Well, we're talking about Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology, where all the students are issued iPads, and apparently they know how to use them. -
#1706 + ( )/235 - [ Report ]
E: See, my theory is that when you come to TJ and learn all these complex algorithms and other stuff, you lose the ability to add or subtract or do other basic things.
K: I think I know what you mean. There are days when I can't add 7 and 5 to make 13.
E: ...You mean twe--
K: OH GOD! YOU'RE RIGHT!