Top Quotes
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#2593 + ( )/276 - [ Report ]
Sh4d0wDusT: this kid at disney world
Sh4d0wDusT: was pointing a toy rifle
Sh4d0wDusT: at mickymouse
Sh4d0wDusT: off in the distance
Sh4d0wDusT: and some tj guy walks over
Sh4d0wDusT: and says to the kid to aim a bit to the left
Sh4d0wDusT: to account for the CORIOLIS EFFECT -
#2208 + ( )/243 - [ Report ]
// AP Biology
Dr. Uston: So class, let's say that there is an amoeba, and it sees this tasty insect. How will it consume the insect?
Student: Uh, Dr. Uston... an insect is way bigger than an amoeba...
Dr. Uston: Okay, well... how about a gnat then?
Class: ...
Dr. Uston: *changes subject* -
#1107 + ( )/255 - [ Report ]
// In Physics class
Mr. Bagden: I'm holding a number up behind my back, whoever guesses closest gets to do the demonstration. Evan, you're first.
Evan: Uhhh... five.
Mr. Bagden: Ok, Galen?
Galen: Seven, I read a book that says the number is always seven.
Mr. Bagden: I'm only holding one hand behind my back. -
#2547 + ( )/244 - [ Report ]
// Dr. Wood is answering questions in FLE and Danny is absent
Dr. Wood: I've had a lot of questions about when you know you're masturbating excessively. You know you're masturbating too much when it interferes with work, or school, or other things. So if it's preventing you from coming to school, you know you've been masturbating way too much.
*Everyone looks at Danny's empty seat*
Aviv: Danny!
*Everyone cracks up, including Dr. Wood*
Dr. Wood: That was a low blow. -
#1146 + ( )/251 - [ Report ]
// 8:45 AM
Anita: I have a pass! I have a pass! I have a pass!
Mr. Kummer: Anita, what are you doing in here?
Anita: Oh crap, it's not an anchor day?
Mr. Kummer: No.
Anita: So this is 5th period?
Mr. Kummer: Yeah.
Anita: Ugh. Okay, bye then, Mr. Kummer!
Mr. Kummer: Bye, Anita.
Mr. Kummer: ... and there's the head of your class government in action. -
#1488 + ( )/244 - [ Report ]
// There's a big *bang* as the lightbulb in the projector explodes when Dr. Cammer turns it on. Everyone screams and Dr. Cammer is cowering in fear, holding his stomach. Everyone stares at him.
Dr. Cammer: Well, you know, you hear these stories about students shooting their teachers... -
#3328 + ( )/231 - [ Report ]
Elsa: Is vinegar an acid or a base? I think it's a base...
Lab Partner: I think its an acid...
Elsa: Hang on, I'll ask... *walks up to Ms. Chhabra* Ms. Chhabra, is vinegar an acid or a base?
Ms. Chhabra: *Grabs Elsa by the shoulders and shakes her* IT'S AN ACID!!! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!
*both pause awkwardly*
Ms. Chhabra: Now go away.