Search Results
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#4387 + ()/17 - [ Report ]
Mr. Helm: You didn't want to be in jail for a day back then, they weren't nice places. You don't want to be in jail now. When the jails used to be in Fairfax County, at some other high schools they would take the more miscreant students and take them to Lorton where they met the finer denizens of the prison. Murderers, rapists, and sodomists.
Class: *mixture of laughs and shocked expressions*
Mr. Helm: No seriously, don't go in the showers at Lorton. -
#4366 + ()/9 - [ Report ]
// Talking about Congress' jurisdiction over military promotions
Mr. Helm: But there were some Naval Airsmen and they had a big party in Las Vegas. They certainly got pretty liquored up and were telling war stories about zooming around. There were apparently some babes at the bar and they showed up and were dancing all around and the Airsmen started to get a little frisky. So then all these sexual abuse charges came up and the female pilots complained of being groped and inappropriate things happened. So when these Airsmen were due for a promotion, when it got to congress they were just like 'no way!' and passed over them.
Mr. Helm: Good thing I was never a Naval Airsmen, or I probably would have been there. -
#1669 + ()/66 - [ Report ]
// You learn many life lessons in history class...
Mr. Helm: No, Patrick, you never make your wife do ANYTHING, because at 2 a. m., she's the one lying next to you, her hands poised to smush a pillow over your face. And when that happens, you die. So no, you should never make your wife do anything.
